A letter to me

I imagine meeting your first love is like meeting your soul connection like two big balls of energy forming together well at least that's how I felt when I first fell in love. It felt like time had stopped just for me in that moment. He could do no wrong in my eyes I worshiped the ground he walked on. But I soon realized it wasn't love I felt but infatuation. I didn't love him, I love the idea, the fantasy I concocted in my brain. In reality he was a monster, a selfish, narcissistic zombie. He waited to I let my guard down he pretended to be my night and shining armor just to snatch my heart from my chest. He left me feeling disgusting, unloveable, and undesired. I was confused how