Feed my soul

I stare blankly at the ceiling, dimly lit by the decorative lights I had hung around in my room a while ago, wondering about how it all started. How did I end up like this? One year ago I was this joyful kid who had a few extra pounds but smiled the fuck out of life and now I am this fucked up kid who doesn't even bother trying to be happy. I wish I knew how to end it all because it all feels just so wrong. It feels like I'm consuming a little of myself everyday to fill the belly of my hungry soul.