don't tell me what to do

it told me to enter a title. uh, who do you think you are.

Welcome to the embarrassing stories of my life. Mom, if you're reading this, none of this ever happened. Everyone else... well, my mom might still be reading this. I've been told my misfortune is hilarious and I'm great at telling it like it is, so I've decided to put them all together on in a book. By I, I mean my friends. I think they have nothing better to do than read my embarrassing stories.