H U R T

I'm sorry I couldn't give you everything you wanted
I'm sorry I'm not as pretty as her
I'm sorry I didn't get up at 3 am to scribble on my face just to know in the end I'll never be beautiful enough to look in your direction
My wrist aches and my heart breaks of pains from my immortal past
Those hurtful memories
Those tear drenched nights
Waking up at dawn with nothing but a soaked oversized tarp and the leftovers of my happiness
Nothing was going to get better
I had to be numb
I. have. to. be. numb.
I have to be dead

Those were the last words I ever saw in her handwriting. My fingers hovered over her writing and I scrambled to my feet and shoved the paper in my pocket as my mom walked in.

"You ok Sweetheart?"

"Yeah." I lied

"You ready for school"

"Yeah" I lied.

She was dead. And it was my fault.