19th Hell
  • Reads 243
  • Votes 108
  • Parts 92
  • Time 15h 37m
  • Reads 243
  • Votes 108
  • Parts 92
  • Time 15h 37m
Ongoing, First published Sep 27, 2019
I'm still afraid of black, I have an urge to wear things with the color red. I have a bracelet that has little red charms dangling off it, like drops of blood frozen in motion. Boots still echo in the hallways, and I can see corpse lining the streets where they once used to lay. It's like that world is still here with me, and it's arms wrapping around me to not forget. There/ is no escape from your pasts.  We still get anxiety when we go to sleep, forgetting that the  nightmares are less frequent. That's what the war did to us, did to everyone in it, permanently damaged us all; and there is no everlasting escape or healing. We move in with what we can, telling ourselves that time will heal it all, but all we can do is take the lessons we have learned - the ones we know to be absolutely true and safe - and make sure the rest of the world knows them too. 
To love is to fight.  

⚠️EXTREAM GRAPHIC & MATURE CONTENT⚠️
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*TRIGGERS ARE INCLUDED MENTIONS OF R*APE AND SE*FH*ARM* Nina Rivers wasn't your average 23 year old girl living in Cork, Ireland. When Nina was a baby her parents gave her up for adoption where she was put in a foster home. Nina never knew why her parents didn't want her but it made her sad that they did. When Nina was 10 not only was she bullied by some of the other kids but she was also raped by one of her older foster brothers...that went on for 3 years which fears and scarred Nina for life. She wanted to tell someone so bad but she feared getting hurt and getting kicked out of the one place she was fed and taken care of...but eventually when Nina was 14, she couldn't do it anymore and ran away from her foster home. Every day was a constant fear of humans and human touch and everyday she was in constant pain. However, one day a nice old lady spotted poor little Nina and took her home to clean her up. Nina trusted the old lady and told her everything that happened and the old lady who lived alone let her stay with her until she was able to get back on her feet. It was a hard adjustment at first with the constant nightmares and flashbacks but the old lady who she considered family has always been there for her. So slowly but surely Nina started to feel better enough to get a job and save up. When Nina was 18, she managed to find a pretty sedentary job until she got enough money to move out. After another year, unfortunately the old lady passes away which left Nina extremely sad and depressed. Having enough money she finally to move to Cork, Ireland... However...it wasn't what she seemed as all her fears and nightmares came back...Nina constantly feared everything and everyone, she feared men, she was extremely shy and antisocial and just so paranoid to leave house most times...so what happens when hurting herself is the only option she can do? What happens when she leaves the house for once and meets someone along the way? What happens next?
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She was always alone.... she never had friends she barely knew what it was like to love someone.... she was perfect.... but so broken.... lost.... À̴̱͝L̜̳ͮ̉O̴̰̝̞̽̄͊͟ͅÑ͖̖̲̐̒͗E̷͔̎͠͠͝ͅ she never deserved to be neglected, and yet she was. Before her all i wanted was the control over what was rightfully mine... now its more complicated, i want my own... my own body so i can forever hold her... and cherish her.... but our kinds aren't meant to be... we could be killed if anyone found out. The risks could be taken if the love is worth waitin. She is perfect... and i want her all to myself.... and it angers me every time i see them with her, they dont belong with her, i do.... and i will prove that too her.... or I'll just force her to see my way... (This is an Anti x Reader, yes this is why i gave up on my other one... but don't expect me not to give up on this one lol anyways enjoy! Warning there is explicit content in this, sexual content, murder, suicide, cursing, racism, and other triggering topics will be mentioned in this story so please read on your own terms <3 love y'all)