Inside My Negative Mind
- Bacaan 224
- Undian 22
- Bahagian 11
A real insight to what it is like to have lived and live with OCD.
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"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboardCerita Lengkap
Broken Into Darkness
Darkness, how do you describe it? It is a feeling where you are so far gone, a numb feeling that turns into nothing. All the light you once had is now filled with blackness. You are trying to reach the surface but you can not seem to get up there. You're just sinking down. When you are stuck between the light and the darkness. When death comes for the person you love the most, it takes your breath away, leaving you gasping for air. You realize that the person you loved the most was the light, who kept the darkness at bay, never letting it come back to the surface. Once that is taken away from you, you feel as if the light will never return. You feel like there is no purpose to your life anymore. Without the light there is not a purpose to live life. Looking at everyone, everything you start to realize that there is no point so why live? When the person you loved is ripped away from you, no explanation why. Why her? Why take away my light? So you just allow the darkness to consume you, where you are done with it all and shut off any emotions to feel nothing.Cerita Lengkap
Wake Me Up
"Hurricanes start with warm ocean water. The warm ocean water being love. Over time it turns into a tropical storm, the storm being the obstacles. Then the eye of the hurricane starts, the eye being realisation it's not getting better. Next weatherman and women, tell you how bad it's going to be ; you predicting how bad you're going to get hurt. The hurricane finally hits land, that being the breaking point where you let the fights break you up. When you've just had it. Then reconstruction, you seeing how it broke you and have no idea how to start again. It takes a long time. It hit you harder than you expected. Everyone is trying to help you pick yourself up but you don't even know where or when to start."Cerita Lengkap
Epeolatry
Further poetry; that which I cannot preemptively describe.
Love, Loss and Everything in Between. Klance AU
When everything seems like it's against you, stand taller than the largest skyscraper. Open your mouth wide and scream into the abyss; anything that gives you the adrenaline you need to keep going. Just persevere and, one day, you'll be able to do anything. You've got to start small with baby steps and, eventually, you'll be able to take the large steps of an adult and scream "fuck you!" at the very world that made your life miserable. TW: Abuse, minor self harm, depression, PTSD, anxiety, someone gets kidnapped... yeah this one's rather heavy.Cerita Lengkap
Four Days in Recovery
When anxiety and depression hits you like a hurricane, you have tunnel vision. You can't see anything, but what's happening in front of you. You can't think straight, and you can't process what's going on or why this is happening. Then all of a sudden you're stuck, and you get sent away to recover from the battle you've been fighting for so long.Cerita Lengkap
What Vader Wants Most
Obi-Wan Kenobi didn't die on the Death Star. Instead, he continues to train Luke. On a Jedi field trip to a Sith temple, they are not the only ones around. They find a certain Sith, caught deep within a trap of the temple; in which the victim's desires are used against them, creating a perfect dream of everything they want. To remove the Sith and drag him back to the Alliance a prisoner, Obi-Wan and Luke must delve into this vision to drag their quarry out. AKA: Vader has a happy vision for once in his life, so Obi-Wan and his son team up to put an end to it. Because if our poor Ani is not dreadfully depressed for longer than a second the damn universe will explode.Cerita Lengkap
Realities
What is real? I know what I saw and experienced, but THEY say it isn't real, that it never happened. THEY say that I'm here for my own good. Who are THEY? Why do they get to decide? I'm so tired I just want to go home...how can I go home?Cerita Lengkap
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard
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