Deep Down
- Reads 103
- Votes 3
- Parts 2
Ongoing6m
Last published Sat, Sep 1, 2012
I didn’t ask to be this way. It’s not my fault, im not a drama queen or any of the other things you call me. If you live my life for a day you will understand what I go though every single day of my life, waking up not knowing whether today you will be really depressed or on an all time high and I can guaranty you will give up even before the day ends. I tell myself everyday that things will get better but deep down I know they won’t until he comes back for me, the one ive always dreamed of. It’s not his fault that im in depression, its natures. He’s 17 and im 14 and I fell in love with him when I first met him. Seeing him makes my heart beat ten to the dozen, he is like an angel that has fallen just to capture the heart of someone vulnerable and young but when we split, I felt my world crumble beneath my feet and seeing him with his ex is killing me every time I see them together. She makes him horrible towards me when she is there but when she’s not he is completely different and I fall in love with him over and over again even though I know I shouldn’t. He’s like that chocolate cake you crave when you diet or that kid you wanna hit cuz he called you fat, you want it but your cant have it. My story isn’t fake, this is the real deal. People who take their friends for granted need to appreciate them because one day you will lose the closest and you don’t know what you have until you lose it! I have learnt that through experience. My life is an emotional rollercoaster which has an unfound ending.
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so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.
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