Little Red | ✔️
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- Parts 37
You ever wanted something so much, but you know it's bad for you, so you try and you try not to want it, but that need for it only grows stronger? Well if you have, that's me right now.
It sucks you know. Wanting something so badly. Wanting to give in so bad to the temptation. You tell yourself over and over and over again that it's bad for you. That you'll survive without it. But deep down, you know you can't. You know you won't. And it scares you to death. Because that thing you want so badly, will only hurt you in the end.
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Promiscuity is addictive. It's so safe. You are not at risk of getting hurt, physically maybe , But emotionally ? No And the emotional pain is by far the worst. I know this because I've experienced both. Physical pain, from my alcoholic father, sexual abuse from his friends. It hurt, it really did. I have scars to show. But let me tell you, the worst type of hurt is the emotional pain. That pain you get when after years of building a wall around yourself, you FINALLY let someone in. You let that one special person in. You bring down your walls. You give your heart. You let him hold your heart in his palms even though you know the risks. You have so many dreams and fantasies about being with this person forever. And he leads you on. It feels good But then he turns around and crushes your heart. He squeezes the life out of it and you feel pain that you never thought was humanly possible. You feel so much pain you can't breathe. And then , you become cold. You stop feeling. You have no heart anymore. You become heartless, promiscuous, bad, really bad. Yes , that happened to me. Ben did that to me. It hurt. It hurt too much. But now I'm safe . Because I'm the bad girl. The one who doesn't have a heart left to be broken.
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