"So, what, you think I wanted to fall in love with you?" he asked with his gaze super glued to hers.
With a thoughtful look in her eyes, Denise shrugged.
Mark lets a scoff, "have you met you? You are loud, outspoken, a smart ass, a hot-head, you do before you think, you're attitude stinks, you -"
"I'm all these things," she took his facts like a champ. "Yet, you've fallen in love with me."
"Yeah," Mark nods, unremorseful "Yeah, I have. I love that smart mouth of yours. I love it when you're pissed; I love that you don't take shit from anyone else or even me. That attitude can be a real pain in my ass but," he shrugged, "you wouldn't be you without it."
Denise was so flattered, she looked away, fighting the urge to smile and feel. Lately, his compliments gave her butterflies. Yet, at the same time, it made her feel like she was getting punched in the gut.
She knew this was going to happen - it was inevitable. You spend so much time with someone you're bound to fall.
The problem isn't that Mark had fallen in love with her. Or that she had feelings for him too. The issue was that Denise had never loved anyone before, let alone a guy. She had to like guys to deal with them, but love? Selfless, sincere, real love was something she wasn't even sure she possessed.
What if she couldn't give to Mark what he was evidently willing to give her. It would be different if she didn't care about him.
Mark was different than the other guys; he mattered to her. If there was any guy she didn't want to ruin things with, it was him.
Many people don't know me, but I don't know who me is either.
I can't tell you if I'm the loud or rude stereotypical black girl because Mom would say I need to speak up. I'm using my library voice with strangers.
I can't tell you I'm the introvert because I like good company.
I was born into a world that judges me before they get to know me. And try to attack the concept of happiness. I need it most in this filthy world we live in. I need you. Because you listened and didn't say a word. Just you being there was enough to make me believe you understood the troubles in my sentences and words spoken in a foreign language.
I want myself back but I can't remember who I was.
|| Ebonee desires life to the fullest content as a brown skin but is constantly faced with life's realities that can never turn into her sudden dreams. As she is constantly faced with comparisons of her beauty, cruel judgment, and love she didn't expect it to turn out so unplanned in her premeditated life. ||
|| Then there's Beau, who lives such a different world outside of the way Ebonee sees it as he tries to determine who is his out to kill him. Living two different worlds in hope to find a middle ground, somewhere, between light and dark, in the novel of BROWN SKIN. ||