Loving Roxanne.

Loving Roxanne.

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WpMetadataNoticeÚltima publicación vie, may 15, 2015
I wish love had a user's manual. It would have made everything so much easier, right? No broken friendships, no broken hearts and just... world peace *waves beauty queen style*. But don't we get sick of easy real fast? Maybe love is supposed to be hard for everyone, even the people who we think are surrounded by love all the time. People who need it desperately but can't accept it. People who give love not knowing that they do. People like Roxanne. *** This is not your regular story. Roxanne most certainly is NOT the shy, geeky girl who eats her lunch at the library with her head buried in a book. In fact, she is a cheerleader, and not just any cheerleader; the head cheerleader. And opposed to what she conveys to other people, her life is nowhere near perfect. As humorous and entertaining this story might be (keyword being might), I'm also trying to address something that is not frequently addressed, which I will hopefully be able to word nicely yet subtlety for you to figure out on your own. All rights reserved.
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I wrote this when I was drunk. The extent to which I was inebriated shall henceforth not be discussed. As an essential disclaimer, I do not own any of the characters, brands, places, or things discussed in this story. Of course, hopefully you already knew that one cannot own a human for a human is already owned by themselves. Although, if Marthe Woertman, Harry Styles, or Shrek do not own themselves I am entirely willing to campaign for their freedom. I am also deeply sorry to the above should they ever come across this literary masterpiece. Which would be tragic. A complete and utter disaster. Anyways this is a story about love of the not at all heterosexual variety. While there are disturbing mentions of previous heterosexuality it is not discussed at length or in detail. Also if you came to this story seeking Harry Styles or Shrek, while they are both key characters, it is mostly about Marthe Woertman and an entirely fictional girl who is simply pining for a hot, tall, dutch, Leo. I also wouldn't read this if you have any standards at all. I warn you, it is Hallmark Christmas Movie/Wattpad Fanfic crossover and simply should not exist. It is not rated mature because it does not have...y'know...the canoodling? the hickory dickory dock? the secret touchy thing? in it because it does not. I rated it that way because I did not, and I shall repeat, I did not proof read this at all. Also I don't really know anything about Marthe Woertman. Or Amsterdam. This will be wildly inaccurate in every respect. I just got crunk, was watching tiktoks, and I decided that I really like the woman's cheek bones and accent and astrological sign so the next time I got crunk I wrote an entire novel. Also Harry Styles and Shrek are both villains. Sorry.

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