The Circle

The Circle

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WpMetadataReadMatureOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Tue, Nov 19, 2019
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Fiction
Romance
" To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" - Ralph Waldo Emenson Taking in my surroundings, I quickly realise that I'm outside his front door, the whole journey to his place is nothing but vague to me but what I'm definitely sure about is that I'm about to lose all the self respect I've spent the past two weeks trying to retrieve. " ...Hey" I open my eyes at the sound of his voice without realising I had closed them to begin with and the moment we lock eyes I realise what a mistake it is for me to be here and how I could never deny anything he asks of me. I'm hit by the familiar smell of the ocean and for some that just makes me want to be in his presence even more and like always I surrender to those emotions. I quickly look past him towards the main entrance to see if anyone was inside, as a way to distract myself. Lord knows I needed it and it would not be a huge shock to me considering how we left off things, two weeks ago. " ...Hi Bandile" I respond hoping I wouldn't hate myself too much tomorrow morning.
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Paranoia... has become my constant companion. Ahh... Danny, what've you gotten yourself into? Thought I was doing something... thought I was gonna get better. Turns out it was all for nothing. I knew I'd be here again. Rock bottom's the only place for real pieces of shit like us... Like me. All that self-improvement didn't mean shit... Or I guess it did, or I wouldn't be here right now... Trying to fill those shoes, re-paint that grim portrait that haunted me... and I did, made everyone proud, even you mom... But it won't mean anything if I die out here. I thought those jumbled remnants of thoughts were the pull of my former self in a disassosiative amnesia from the drugs... Guess it was the pull of a much more treacherous force. I wish I could've lived my fantasy out and been happy.... At least you were, while it lasted. "Times almost up, they'll be here soon." TRIGGER WARNINGS: Crude humor, Illicit drug use, Drug overdose, loss of a child, suicide, bullying, traumatic events, Mature themes, graphic violence, death.

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