The Hobbit....NOT!!! - ProcrastinatorPro - Wattpad

Story cover for The Hobbit....NOT!!! by ProcrastinatorPro

The Hobbit....NOT!!!

ProcrastinatorPro

Reads 431
Votes 11
Parts 5
Time 39m

Reads 431
Votes 11
Parts 5
Time 39m

ProcrastinatorPro

crack hobbit hobbitfanfic hobbits ocs

One does not simply jump the dimensional planes and somehow end up in Middle Earth....except one group of friends did. And they don't know how to get back. Bummer. Might as well join these savage warriors and their grocer, sorry, burglar halfway across their world to fight a dragon and reclaim their homeland. It's just the obvious thing to do, right? Oh, and not to mention they're different races now. Who knew going from human to hobbit would be such a drastic change? Oh well, let's just find the rest of the group and make nice with giant animals. There's no harm in finding a little bit of love along the way, too. If you're into that kind of thing. What an unexpected adventure.

WARNING: This is pure and unsupervised crack. Nothing more to it. This whole story is filled with OCs, OOC  acting, and really bad jokes. If you can call them that. 
CAUTION: This story might also contain some serious and/or chick-flick moments. 

You have been both warned and cautioned. If you still wish to proceed, the least you could do is vote or comment for these poor teens. They have some rough times ahead of them.All Rights Reserved

crack hobbit hobbitfanfic hobbits ocs

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CRUMPET RESISTANCE by CrumpetKillerzs

Do you enjoy lighthearted jokes, crack, and mushrooms? This book is for you! Do you enjoy angst? This book is for you! Do you enjoy death and betrayal? This book is for you! Do you enjoy food turned into people and leading a whole society? This book is also for you! Ever wanted to kill your best friend 0_0? THIS BOOK IS FOR YOUUU Are you thinking about rebelling against someone? (hopefully not) Again, THIS 👏 BOOK 👏 IS 👏 FOR 👏 YOU! I mean, if you don't enjoy any of that, THIS BOOK IS STILL FOR YOU!!! Four friends (plus one absent friend), have come together to write the ULTIMATE STORY OF THE DECADE THAT WILL WIN THE GRAMMY AWARDS!!!! Every chapter is divided into four bits, each summarized by one of the main characters in their own style. So, be prepared for confusion and style changes in writing! Audericka, Casserole, Chlorine, Finn and Sage live in a society ruled by non-other than Crumpet and his wife Saucy Waffles. They live in Sauffletown, where commoners weren't treated the best. So, it was decided. They would overthrow the king and queen. The Crumpet Rebellion (or the Muffin Corp) was born, led by the famous Muffin Boss! Join the five best friends in the journey of a lifetime against their own kingdom.

Treasured Love | Thorin Oakenshield. by _CrystalFox_

One fateful day, Keena Gredan never would have thought to meet 13 dwarves and a Grey Wizard in her hobbit hole where she lives with Bilbo Baggins. They had hoped her cousin would join them on a quest as their burglar on an epic quest. Keena, whose is always up for an adventure, vouched herself to come along, but their leader, Thorin Oakenshield forbade it. She snuck off anyway and this is how the tale of a elven hobbit and a dwarf king fell in love through the epic quest of regaining the mighty dwarven kingdom of Erebor. -------- Most Notable Rankings: #1 in Thorin (3/10/21) #1 in Keena (9/21/21) #1 in Dwalin (8/17/20) #1 in bilbobaggins (1/17/21) #1 in jrrtolkien (2/1/21) #1 in bofur (1/15/22) #1 in dwarf (7/11/21) #2 in thorinoakenshield (1/5/21) #2 in thehobbit (8/14/21) #1 in hobbit (3/26/25) #3 in gandalf (8/8/21) #7 in elf (10/11/20) #1 in lotr (10/8/24) #1 in kili (10/24/24) **some rankings have been notable more than the 1 date listed above -------- Started - December 30th, 2019 Ended - August 24th, 2020

Against all Odds {Middle-Earth fanfic} by Ithildaeforever

"Nice fighting out there. You are finally getting better." She joked. He smiled and rolled his eyes, "Thanks." She grinned, "Yah, well soon you'll be good enough to challenge me." She baited. He laughed, "I would challenge you now, but I'm all tuckered out." She looked down at her intricate blade, inspecting it, "Sure...you can use that excuse." She retorted as sly smile spread across her face. Thea and Nikandros are the newest assassin recruits in their camp and are eager to be accepted. But what happens when their first mission doesn't go the way they planned? This story is set in Middle-Earth in a time before The Hobbit or The Lord of The Rings took place. *Notice* I do not own or take credit for any of J.R.R. Tolkien's characters or works.

An Even Fifteen (Fili x reader) by rachelanne017

You have grown up under the care of Radagast the Brown, and on an errand to King Thranduil of Mirkwood you encounter Thorin Oakenshield's Company, though you do not know it. You return to your home with Radagast, only to be visited by Gandalf and recruited to join the Company. Their quest is a daunting one, and it exposes you to things you have never dreamed existed beyond your Greenwood home. You grow fond of the dwarves and their Master Burglar, but Fili, the fair Heir of Durin, in particular catches your attention. Where will Thorin's quest lead you? How will you manage the new and terrifying things Middle Earth has to offer? And, most of all, how will you handle your growing affections for a certain blond dwarf? A fem!reader x fili fanfiction, updated on Mondays and Thursdays weekly

(#1) Roommates by Day, Enemies by Night by magnetichearts02

WARNING: CONTAINING AMOUNTS OF SASS PREVIOUSLY UNKNOWN TO MANKIND In the city of NYC--- Ok. Hold up. First of all, New York City. What, are ya gonna assume everyone here knows what NYC is? Anyway, this is about two people. I can almost hear you rolling your eyes. Another cliché teen fiction with a bad boy and a good girl? Nope. This is about superheroes. I can still hear you rolling your eyes. Superheroes. Like in comic books? Like people with super speed and mutant powers? Yes. But this isn't about the fight they have. More about the lives they lead without the masks. But just keep in mind, people who live in the world have all different skin colours. Do not assume my characters are of one unless I state them explicitly. and diversity is welcome here in my novel! Anyhow, back to the story. Ever wonder where supervillains go after their fight with the hero? What about the other side of the story? It's not like they sit in their lair cackling all day and planning how to kidnap reporters. What about the lives they lead? And instead of just focusing on that, what if the superhero and the supervillain knew each other? I mean, can they see behind the mask? No, so their identities are secret. So what if the hero and villain were best friends? What if they were roommates? What if they were falling for each other? And what happens when they find out? Now, I assume you know all of these questions will be answered in this book. But hold on. It's going to take a while. You're in for a bumpy ride. And if any of you got any of the references in this description, give yourself a pat on the back. That is a beautiful thing. And if you can name all the references in this book, you truly are a gift to mankind. Fangirl out.

Heart Of Stone by KingSheridan

*UNDER GOING EDITING* She knew she could never have him, but a girl could dream couldn't she? And as she sat in her dank cell with Dwalin pacing before her all she could do was think, and her thoughts made the dirt on the bottom of an orcs foot look clean. ------------------ Join Fawn on the adventure of a life time and experience what its like to be a hybrid in the company of dwarves, a hobbit, and an odd wizard as Fawn helps reclaim a lost home and shows an elf king to love once again. But not all stories have a happy ending. Especially if you're part elf, part dwarf. Laugh, cry, and dream with Fawn as she fights for the ones she loves and slowly cracks open Thranduil's Heart Of Stone.

Our true home (A hobbit Fanfic): Book 1 by Roxie_Love27

3 women expectantly find themselves in a world they read about in books. They end up helping a company of 13 dwarves and a wizard along with their new friend and father figure, Bilbo Baggins. These women all feel connected to middle earth and don't know why. They each have secrets that they keep from the rest in hopes of them finding out the truth about who they are and why they feel more at home. They all happen to find their real family but one of them learns a powerful secret about them. What is even more complicated is that they fall in love and try to run away because they know that they wont be staying long yet a part of them wants to know what will happen if they give in to their feelings? How will they handle what they are and What will they choose? Will they fight for what they want or will they run away, hurting themselves and the ones they love? This is a fanfic. All of the credit goes to JRR Tolkien and Peter Jackson. I don't own anything except Renee, Katherine and Lilith. Also this is my first fanfic so bare with me. I also got the inspiration from The three women of Durin. Please go and read it because it is absolutely amazing. So enjoy. I will update at least twice a week. Please bare in mind that I may not be able to but I'll do my very best. Thank you for your support!!!!!!!!

At First Sight (Thorinxreader) by homely-jess

🥇#1 in Thorin 4/10/2024 The reader joins the company on the quest to reclaim the dwarven homeland of Erebor. It becomes much more problematic than your usual adventure wherein the reader is a skin changer with alpha blood that allows her to shift into any creature; all she has to do is merely look at the animal she wants to turn into. Along with this comes soul bound mates-that are a natural thing for skin changers, likewise for the dwarves it is finding their one. How will Thorin behave when he discovers his one in the powerful skin changer? He says he'll wait till the quest is over but can he make it that long? For the reader, it's a whole new journey in more ways than one. Neither parties want to give up their mate as they are only blessed with just one in a lifetime. The reader faces a multitude of questions one of them being what were to happen if she looked up the dragon, Smaug? Read to learn their story... **MATURE READERS ONLY** 18+ Only

The Last Dragon Tamer by Lisha_Lemons

■Thorin Oakenshield Fanfiction■ ■this story is not edited, will fix at a later date■ Dragons used to rule the North along with the humans that they allowed to tame them. Their bonds was inseparable, almost mythical. Ira Stormbreaker grew up in the North becoming a Tamer like her ancestors before. Alastor is her Dragon, young and full of life. Then everything changed with Smaug attacked. He destroyed the North and claimed Erebor for his own. Except Ira and Alastor survived the brutal onslaught. Now 60 years has passed since that day. Now Ira is cold and bitter towards most. She's reclusive and mysterious. When Gandalf asks her to join a company of 13 Dwarves and 1 Hobbit, she goes but only to seek revenge on the beast. Thorin Oakenshield does not know what to make of her. She's cold and distant, almost frozen with distrust and grief, but she fills his mind and his heart. Only they don't know it but their love story has been foretold thousands of years ago as a prophecy. Fate is their hands. [I DO NOT OWN THE HOBBIT OR ANYTHING FROM TOLKIEN/PETER JACKSON'S MOVIES, I ONLY OWN MY ORIGINAL CHARACTERS)

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Slide 1 of 9

CRUMPET RESISTANCE cover

Treasured Love | Thorin Oakenshield. cover

Against all Odds {Middle-Earth fanfic} cover

An Even Fifteen (Fili x reader) cover

(#1) Roommates by Day, Enemies by Night cover

Heart Of Stone cover

Our true home (A hobbit Fanfic): Book 1 cover

At First Sight (Thorinxreader) cover

The Last Dragon Tamer cover

CRUMPET RESISTANCE

Do you enjoy lighthearted jokes, crack, and mushrooms? This book is for you! Do you enjoy angst? This book is for you! Do you enjoy death and betrayal? This book is for you! Do you enjoy food turned into people and leading a whole society? This book is also for you! Ever wanted to kill your best friend 0_0? THIS BOOK IS FOR YOUUU Are you thinking about rebelling against someone? (hopefully not) Again, THIS 👏 BOOK 👏 IS 👏 FOR 👏 YOU! I mean, if you don't enjoy any of that, THIS BOOK IS STILL FOR YOU!!! Four friends (plus one absent friend), have come together to write the ULTIMATE STORY OF THE DECADE THAT WILL WIN THE GRAMMY AWARDS!!!! Every chapter is divided into four bits, each summarized by one of the main characters in their own style. So, be prepared for confusion and style changes in writing! Audericka, Casserole, Chlorine, Finn and Sage live in a society ruled by non-other than Crumpet and his wife Saucy Waffles. They live in Sauffletown, where commoners weren't treated the best. So, it was decided. They would overthrow the king and queen. The Crumpet Rebellion (or the Muffin Corp) was born, led by the famous Muffin Boss! Join the five best friends in the journey of a lifetime against their own kingdom.