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WpMetadataNoticeSon yayınlanan Per, Ara 15, 2016
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You made the hurt slip my mind You made it all pass away with little time I would cry, wishing you'd be here to kiss me goodnight. I only got sleep by imagining you holding me tight. Now that we're here and we've come so far Do I have to wish upon another star? Do I have to wish that you will not go? Do I have to stay here when you leave and watch your love for another grow? No, no, no. I can't pretend that I'm a stone. This little leaf is breaking at the stem Listening to her thoughts that sound like him. But there he goes, he fades away Letting this broken boy in, who's willing to stay. This boy fixed her heart While the guy that left had torn it apart He cared about her and was always there She was a little crazy but he still loved her without a care You say you love me, but is it true...? I don't know happiness or what love is but I know it comes from you.
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"Will be there in 20?" The message from Dean reads. My brain says I should text back saying 'I will rip your balls off if you come over' or 'I am not a sex toy, you could come over and use me as and when you please' or at least a simple 'No'. But I don't. I squat next to my bed and pull out the white powder to numb the pain. I told myself that I am done with Dean and I am going to get my life back together. I cleaned up, battled withdrawals and even improved my grades. One text from him and I am snorting coke. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let Dean treat me like trash? Why do I set myself up knowing that it's only a matter of time before he will run back to Sherley leaving me in limbo? Why? l have asked myself the same question a million times but I couldn't come up with an answer that I can use to justify myself. When it came to Dean, I was a masochist. I let him use me and discard me without any fight. Dean was my first Friend. Kiss. Sex. Love. Everything. I wanted to be his everything too. I was his first Friend. Kiss and Sex but Love.. that was Sherley. His family chauffeur's daughter. I want to be a better human and say I didn't hate her. But I am not. I am just human and I hate her with the ferocious of a thousand sun. I hate that she plays him like a fiddle and he dances to it. I hate that they fight for silly reasons and Dean comes running to me. I hate that I let him in even when I know she will reel him back in no time. I hate that he is my weakness and Sherley is his. I wished that my best friend would turn to be my lover. But he just ripped my heart out. It time to let go and move on.

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