What It Feels Like To Be ME - Jaden les - Wattpad

Story cover for What It Feels Like To Be ME by My_Therapist

What It Feels Like To Be ME

Reads 3,715
Votes 586
Parts 70
Time 1h 50m

Reads 3,715
Votes 586
Parts 70
Time 1h 50m

anxiety depression everything harrassment lesbian muslim struggle

I am struggling. With my grades, with my depression, with my anxiety, and most importantly I am losing the battle with my sanity. 
Read and say what's on ur mind
Fill me up with hope and words that may change my perspective, maybe even help me smile genuinely sometimes 

Enjoy
And I love u ❤️❤️❤️All Rights Reserved

anxiety depression everything harrassment lesbian muslim struggle

Table of contents

70 parts

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𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 not edited by DIVINXE

VERSION 1 "Do you do this with every girl you think is pretty or am I special?" "You're very special. You're my sapphire. You're my introspection and meditation" He says as he kisses my hand "I love you, Diamond." I chuckle "I love you too." Pecks my lips. "but isn't this selfish?" He squeezes my hand. "Sometimes you have to be selfish for your happiness." 40k+ words 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐍 is a travel blogger and influencer and single mother.She goes to a night club and waits for her brother to arrive. While waiting she meets 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐎. Her brother Shawn's best friend. He immediately catches her eye. She does the same to him. He's charming but stern at the same time. He's what she wants and she is what he wants. But his job interferes with their relationship and so does his best friend and her ex. 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘 Very fast paced. VERSION 2 "What are you both doing here?" I ask them. "Did you really think we wouldn't find out? I mean honestly Diamond, do you think we're stupid?" I finally realize what this is, a confrontation. "I-I'm so-" "Sorry? save your words, Love. We aren't here for for that, we're sure you could apologize in other ways..right,Marciano?" Cyrus says and Marci nods. "What can I do?" "Lay down and let us handle the rest." ---------------------------------------------- ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY, WHY CHOOSE? FAST PACED.

Together With You by adelwang

Ocean Goldreich is the sister I never had. Or at least, her brothers put that thing in my mind. I tried my best to look at her as my very own sister and it worked... for at least these whole year, until I met her again in Finland and somehow she looked even more perfect than I remember. And finally after all these years I gave in to my lust toward her. We crossed the lines with the promise that we will be back as brother and sister again afterward. Can I do that? The answer is bullshit. How can I look at her as my sister when all I can remember from her is our nights together. But she was so adamant to keep our relationship as best friends slash sister brother. Seriously, Ocean? Drew Roderick, I had a crush on him in all my teenage life. But he broke my heart again and again when he just looked at me as his little sister. And now, when I was over him (or I think I was), he came back to me and acted sweetly intimate romantic and whatever is far from the brotherly attitude. I tried to push him away, but I couldn't because the truth is I want him more than just a brother. Can we cross the line? The line that my brothers put is so thick between us. But, suddenly things in our life changed. Now I'm a mother of a little baby, Charlene. We have Charlene now. I can't let my lust override my brain. I have Char in stake. But why did Drew act like we are really a happy family? We are far from family. Just co-parenting a baby, right? Words {[150.000-200.000]}

FOUND by IhsanNuryadi

I didn't choose Islam. I inherited it. But one day, I started asking questions I wasn't supposed to ask - and found answers I never expected. FOUND is a spiritual case file. Compilation of short essays on the kind of truths you don't learn from textbooks - you find them through heartbreak, healing, and the questions no one answered when you were a kid. I'm not a teacher. I'm not a preacher. I'm just someone who got lost - and found something too beautiful not to share. These are the pieces of belief I picked up along the way. Table of Contents: Found #1 - The Faith I Didn't Choose He must be One - and only One. Found #2 - The Eyes of Ihsan The world is filtered, for a reason. Found #3 - Unseen Plotline You walk - He writes. Found #4 - Symmetric Love True love is a symmetric love triangle: equilateral, intentional, and facing the Divine. Found #5 - The Desire They Never Dared to Explain When we fail to speak, we give the world permission to lie. Found #6 - Clear the Throne Clear your heart - He won't share His throne. Found #7 - When the Whale Saved Me Mercy doesn't always look like light - sometimes it looks like being swallowed whole. Found #8 - I Miss Someone I've Never Met Every drop of his pain carried someone like me. Found #9 - What Prayer Was Meant to Be You don't pray because He needs you - you pray because you need Him. Found #10 - The Happiness Nothing Can Buy Real happiness is when you disappear - and someone else's smile takes your place.

My Barren Wife by BelaHoney

Mpho and I have been together for eight years and married for six. We met in my third year of varsity.I was twenty one and he was twenty two. We became friends as he and my best friend's boyfriend, who is currently her husband, are best friends. I wasn't looking for a relationship. He just happened. I had broken up with my childhood boyfriend of seven years.(Yes! I said seven years but that's a story for another day) back to Mpho and I ,we built everything From scratch, the company he works for my provident fund helped him start it up with his best friend KG. I used to work as an Account at Investec Bank, I graduated with cum laudes, so I was headhunted, the world was my oyster. I wanted to go to New York and work in Wall Street for a few years then settle down. Mpho had different plans. He proposed marriage and told me nothing will change,silly naive me fell for that.I turned down New York because what kind of wife leaves her husband for a year unattended,who's going to cook for him ,clean for him and take care of his needs they said.Like I was some live in maid. Mxm!! He asked me to quit my job when business was doing well. We wanted to start a family and we were not getting lucky. He convinced me that it's my job thats giving me stress and if I was more relaxed we would probably conceive.That however was also not the case,we have spent over 800k on medical bills trying insemination and tests but we have not been lucky. My mother, as a prayer warrior, has taken me to church for prayers. Nothing happened.Other than Mpho's family giving me names and his mother disrespecting me and degrading me in front of other family members. My husband had failed to protect me or reparmend them. Instead now he has also joined in on the abuse.

Hijabi Not in Distress by sabeenthememe

#4 in highschoollovestory on 11/2/2020 ****This book starts off with the present time of a wedding and reveals a hidden love story**** Now, going to be married, Sairah reminisces about her past love story. Sairah's a hijabi... and life as a hijabi isn't easy at Kendale High School. Sairah is witty, sarcastic, modest and beautiful. She receives looks of admiration, and hatred because of her loyalty to her religion. However, one day someone takes things too far... Ahmed, the new kid was also Muslim and had just moved to LA. He's bold, charming, egoistic, handsome, and sometimes gets a little too in over his head. However, when Sairah's and his path clash insults are exchanged and so is flattery. Learn the eventual result of these two hot-headed Muslims and where life takes them... Both start off with a rather teasing and sarcastic friendship, but time leads them into something more-- something beautiful. ************************************************************************************************ "Now? Now I have to deal with you throwing all your hard work for a girl! A girl Ahmed! A girl!" He emphasizes 'girl' with annoyance and disappointment. I clench my jaw getting heated. "Dad she is NOT some girl okay! I love her and she loves me! She is more than just some girl!" I soften my tone, "dad I love her okay and I'm not leaving NYU because of her. I'm not even thinking about NYU for her. And for our future together." I try to reason with my dad who is shaking his head in disbelief. "Ahmed I know you care about her okay. There's nothing wrong with falling in love-- unless she's taking you away from your life plan!" My dad explains visibly frustrated. "Dad, it was never my life plan to begin with. It was yours!" I run a hand through my hair. ************************************************************************************************ ALSO, THIS STORY IS A TAD RELIGIOUS BUT IT IS FICTIONAL

Heartless Queen by EmpressKhan

I watch the red rose in between his hands "isn't it strange...a red rose on the beach!!" his deep voice causes a shiver to run down my back. I look back into the ocean... the view was so magical. "Someone told me that roses are like people" I hear him laugh at my words "no way...people are so dangerous and manipulative" his words had double meaning I knew exactly who he was referring to. My heart squeezed in pain...will he ever believe that this was not my fault. "They are much like people...they have so many colours like people" I feel him look at me "this shade of the rose represents danger...blood shedding" He stared down at the rose "pink represents love...white represents peace...yellow represents falling in love...and black represents death" I look up at him. "But Allah didn't make black rose" I look at him as he looks at me with confusion, I smile back at him "God doesn't make bad people either yet...we have so many of them" I could tell my words overwhelmed him. "Only you can turn something so beautiful...cold" Amira is a rich successful women with a shady past and no family in the present...she is known as the motherless child. She made one mistake and that was to fall for the Zaid Ali Khan a successful doctor. Follow Zaid as he falls for a heartless Queen.

The American (BWWM) by mss_amalee

"What?" Ethan says in his all too familiar deep, rude voice. Ethan has pitch-black hair, is 6 feet tall, with a solid build. His deep grey eyes are glaring at me right now. His jawline is so sharp I'm sure it can cut through anything. "You hit me, spilling my coffee all over me," I say, pointing out the obvious. "So, what do you want me to do about it?" he asks, like he's done nothing wrong. "You're supposed to say sorry," I say in a duh tone. "And why should I?" "Because that's what people with manners do." "I know that, but you don't deserve a sorry from me." "Wow. And why is that?" "Because black bitches like you don't deserve it," he says with a sneer. "I have told you times without number to stop calling me that," I say, angry at his insults. "Make me," Ethan says, taking a dangerous step closer. I don't say anything but hiss and walk past him. I don't know why I expected him to apologize. It's Ethan, after all. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ethan is a young male about to get his first degree, he might look normal to the world, but don't we all have our demons inside. Ethan has a problem that he feels hatred is the best way to cure it, but one lady proves him wrong. Adina is a beautiful young girl who is also about to get her first degree at the same university as Ethan. Adina is full of life and dislikes anyone who thinks they can bully her. Ethan is hell-bent on bringing hell down on Adina, and she is determined to shove it up all the way into his ass. They are both opposites, but they say opposites attract one other. What happens when a significant incident changes all that. How do these two different people deal with a feeling that is supposed to be forbidden to feel for each other?

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖡𝗂𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗂𝗋𝖾 𝖴𝗇𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖢𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽 by BATESVILLE

"Abort it." "Excuse me ?" "Abort that thing inside of you!" He shouts in my face. I put my hands on his chest, trying to put some space between us. The man didn't even budge. "I'm not aborting my baby!" I feel strong hands wrap around my throat, and the next thing I know, I'm being lifted off the floor, fighting for air. "Listen here, you bitch you will abort that child, and if you don't, I'll personally kill you both myself. I'm a man of my word. Do not test me." He spat dead calm. Elora finds herself in a sticky position when her brother was in a terrible car accident, leading to an expensive medical bill that neither of them could afford. Her parents died when she was young, leaving her brother as her sole guardian. The two had been incredibly close over the years, and she had to find a way to help him in his current position. She had no choice but to sleep with a man she knew nothing about for money to cover the hospital bill, but later found out she was pregnant. The worst-case scenario is that the father wants nothing to do with her and the unborn child. After three years of guilt, pain, and regret, the two cross paths once more, and Elora struggles to make the right decisions as he was determined to be in their little girl's life. It's gonna be a bumpy ride!! #1-rejection 18.01.2025 #1-conflict 18.01.2025 #1-mistakes 22.07.2025 •Published: Oct 5, 2021

Blind By Love by love_angell

"This is Rumaan's child" I heard mama said. I didn't look up at her. I keep my head lowered. because I didn't have the courage to face her. "This is not my child," he said abruptly. I looked at him with wide eyes. I was beyond shocked. What he just said. Did I hear him right? No, he can't say that. How can he? But as he looked away from me, my heart beats stopped. my breath hitched. And that's where he broke me completely "HOW DARE YOU RUMAAM" mama yelled and slapped him. "Mama..." he was shocked that his mother slapped him " don't call me mama.," she yelled and was about to hit him again but I stopped her "no mama," I said and they all turned to me I slowly get up and went in front of them " he's right.. this is not his child" I put my hand on my stomach and said I had tears in my eyes but I did not let them fall in front of him whom I loved with my everything because now I was tired of crying for his love. I was blind. Blind by love but not anymore. Everyone looked at me shocked even Rumaan couldn't believe what I just said ★★★ Hana Rafeeq Mirza a beautiful innocent kind-hearted 20 years old girl Everyone loves cared and respect her but the one she loves since childhood her cousin her love of life, didn't love her neither he respects her. Rumaan Ahmed Mirza a hot handsome and flirt 23 years old boy. He was famous as a playboy in America. He never cared for those things which he gets easily and that's what Hana whom he got so easily. And he just wanted to get rid of her at any cost. He knew that Hana was crazy for him that's why he always took her advantage. Will Rumaan ever realize his mistakes or if he realised it will be too late??? Want to know?? Yes? Then join their journey with me Warning: this is my first story and English is not my mother tongue. so it maybe has a lot of grammar mistakes. So read it at your own risk Started: 26/1/2020 Finished:16/6/2020 #1 in heartbreak #4 in betrayal #3 in spiritual #1 in innocent #1 in spiritual

Billionaire's Baby Mama (OWENS SERIES #1) by kiki60102

"You had no right to not tell me that you are pregnant" Mr. Owens screamed and my eyes widened. He knew. This can't be happening. He was the last person that I wanted to find out. "I don't think that's any of your business" I said and turned on my heels ready to leave but he wrapped his hand around my wrist making it completely impossible for me to leave. I tried to wiggle out of his grip but it was useless. He was way stronger than me which was no surprise at all because based on his toned body he had to work out a lot. -"It is my business when I'm the father of that fucking baby" he said angry and it was easy to tell he is trying to control his anger. "You're not the father" I stated and I knew that he could tell that I was lying. -"Why are you lying? Isn't this what you wanted? A fucking billionaire as your baby's father?" he was trying to provoke me. And it worked. Did he seriously thing that I'm a gold digger and that I did this on purpose? Because with his assumption he couldn't have been more wrong. He didn't know yet that this baby is never going to be born. "No that's not what I want. The only thing I want is for you to stay out of my life" I shouted and tried once again to get out of his grip. But once again without success. -"I won't stay out of your life when I know my heir is growing inside of you" he said and raised his voice as well. "Well not for long" I mumbled under my breath and I thought only I could hear it but apparently I was wrong because based on his reaction he understood what I said. And let me tell you he wasn't pleased at all. -"You're not going to get an abortion" he said. Does he seriously think he can tell me what and what not to do? Because then he was wrong. "Oh yes I am" I stated matter of factly ... P.S: The comment section is a mess so be prepared [Started: 01-03-2017] [Ended: 04-27-2018] © 2017 kiki60102 Cover by @mahgadahling

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Slide 1 of 10

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 not edited cover

Together With You cover

My Barren Wife cover

Hijabi Not in Distress cover

Heartless Queen cover

The American (BWWM) cover

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖡𝗂𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗂𝗋𝖾 𝖴𝗇𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖢��𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽 cover

Blind By Love cover

Billionaire's Baby Mama (OWENS SERIES #1) cover

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 not edited

VERSION 1 "Do you do this with every girl you think is pretty or am I special?" "You're very special. You're my sapphire. You're my introspection and meditation" He says as he kisses my hand "I love you, Diamond." I chuckle "I love you too." Pecks my lips. "but isn't this selfish?" He squeezes my hand. "Sometimes you have to be selfish for your happiness." 40k+ words 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐍 is a travel blogger and influencer and single mother.She goes to a night club and waits for her brother to arrive. While waiting she meets 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐎. Her brother Shawn's best friend. He immediately catches her eye. She does the same to him. He's charming but stern at the same time. He's what she wants and she is what he wants. But his job interferes with their relationship and so does his best friend and her ex. 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘 Very fast paced. VERSION 2 "What are you both doing here?" I ask them. "Did you really think we wouldn't find out? I mean honestly Diamond, do you think we're stupid?" I finally realize what this is, a confrontation. "I-I'm so-" "Sorry? save your words, Love. We aren't here for for that, we're sure you could apologize in other ways..right,Marciano?" Cyrus says and Marci nods. "What can I do?" "Lay down and let us handle the rest." ---------------------------------------------- ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY, WHY CHOOSE? FAST PACED.