I surrendered, in one not so very special night, I surrendered, when the words were so much more than my heart can contain, I surrendered, and decided to start writing, the story that I promised to write.
I held my laptop, sat on the couch, and finally started to write, to let everything out, I wanted to finish it as soon as possible, so I can finally sigh in relief...
I loved him... with all the love of my heart I loved him, but his eyes couldn't see anyone other than one and only girl, and I always were his best friend, secrets keeper and his younger sister, nothing more, and nothing less. But I wasn't satisfied, I hoped for more, I WANTED more! I wanted him to look at me the same way I look at him, I wanted him to see me as a woman, not as his "little sis" as he always used to call me. I hated being a prisoner in the cage of friendship, I wanted to be in the golden cage of his heart, the lovers cage, I wanted to invade his mind, and capture his heart, I wanted him to be mine and only mine. It sounded selfish in the beginning, but then my love grew bigger and bigger, until it started to hurt my heart, that's when I became obsessed with him, I couldn't see anyone but him, cause he was the only one who's diving into my mind, and it turned out that HE is the one who captured my heart, and invaded my mind, not me. Things didn't go as I hoped, so I was suffering everyday because of this love, being that very close to him and not being able to touch him, or to kiss him, or even just to say "I Love you more than JUST a friend", these few words that I've been dying to say. and on top of all, she came, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, she showed up, "Olivia", the girl who took my love away from me, the one who turned everything upside down, My very very very WORST ENEMY!!...
A few snippets so far:
I felt naked in front of him. He's stripped me bare, pulled back my flesh, cracked open my rib cage to literally have my heart in his hands. He has the power to finish me off with one forceful squeeze or help hold all the pieces together while I work on mending and healing it.
****
I take this time to breathe in the stale peacefulness of the room and wait for my body to properly wake up to get started with another day. My thoughts are soon abruptly stopped when I hear heavy breathing next to me, then I can feel the rise and fall of someone's chest and the heaviness of something wrapped around my torso. The imaginary glue in my eyes disappears as they open in a flash. To my utter disbelief and confusion, I find Harry sleeping...in my bed...with me.
What, when how...what in the world is happening?! My internal panic worsens when I realize if he's here he saw the broken glass and blood in the room. FUCKING HELL!
"Don't freak out, don't freak out," I talk out loud to myself but it's not fucking working.
****
Last fucking chance to tell me I'm wrong and you're not hoeing around then sleep in my bed!" I say as harshly as I can. She doesn't say anything, doesn't even bat an eye at what I said. I pick up her phone on my nightstand and throw it at the closed door and watch her body tense up in anger. Her fists are white from how tightly she is clamping her fingers in her palm and her jaw is clenched.
"You said it yourself, we're just friends. Friends don't act jealous like this," she quietly speaks.
"I am not jealous; I couldn't give a fuck less. Have nothing to be jealous of." She takes a step back like I hit her, I can see her shattering right in front of me.
"You know your way out. Get the fuck out of my apartment now," she walks over to grab her phone that bounced off the wall and walks out, she stops before she closes the door all the way.