Are You Sh!tting Me (Modern Cliches, #3) - Anna Koski - Wattpad

Are You Sh!tting Me (Modern Cliches, #3)

Reads 37,765
Votes 4,281
Parts 25
Time 2h 58m

Reads 37,765
Votes 4,281
Parts 25
Time 2h 58m

alcoholicvampdad amlkoski comedy free freetoread funny humor moderncliches novella omg vampdaddy vampire vamps

Book three of the Modern Cliche Series
~~~~~~~~~~~

Sup, my name is Sammi Catherine Knapper.

I am your permanently exhausted, introverted twenty-five year old. The only thing I am above average in is the fact I can pull all nighters and still get to work in the morning. Yes, I have the super human power called being a night owl who has insomnia. It's incurable, believe me, I've tried.
So with that permanently exhausted exterior, I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or account for the fact I had a vampire crawl into my bedroom at night trying to figure out how the whole blood sucking thing worked. 

Yes, I some how managed to have a baby vamp attempt to test his new vampiric nature on me.

Thankfully, Jake (surfer dude turned bloodsucker), was just as confused as I was by his vampire abilities, drinking blood to survive aside, and we set upon a mission to figure out just what being a vampire meant and what he needed to do as well as track down his one night stand vampire daddy to give him hell.

Teaching a vampire how to be a vampire, meeting a sibling group of baby vampires, starting a night time inventory business, as well as being kidnapped by an alcoholic vamp daddy, all I can say is:

Are you shitting me?All Rights Reserved

alcoholicvampdad amlkoski comedy free freetoread funny humor moderncliches novella omg vampdaddy vampire vamps

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Kill Me Now (Modern Cliches, #1) by AMLKoski

Book One of the Modern Cliches series ~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi, my name is Sasha Elaine Wimbleton. I am your perfectly average twenty four year girl. The only thing I am slight above average for is the cynical and snark categories but I had an average childhood, an average school experience, average friends, marks, parents, and life. So in a life full of averages I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or count for the fact I was kidnapped by a self professed werewolf who claimed I was his undeniable, true love, one of a kind, soul mate. I'm sorry but I'm really not into that whole Stockholm Syndrome thing... This isn't mentioning his pack is in this long standing feud with his younger brother, Fergus, who wants him dead because of a reason he wouldn't tell me. I only met him a few times where he and Damien snapped and snarled at each other and exchanged threats. In which I was either being manhandled by Damien or with his Beta, Vince LeStat, a.k.a. the future father of my children. Stuck in a pack of testosterone filled fucking werewolves and being unable to actually make a move on the guy I dig because the guy who is obsessed with me has declared he will kill any man that touches me. All I can say is: Fucking kill me now.

His Second Chance (Book 1) by LadyDemonRaven

COMPLETED Meet Melissa Rivera. A 25 year old woman with a doctor's degree. She moves to Forks to start a new life in a new state. She works as Carlisle's assistant. When Carlisle sees Melissa, he realizes that he has a second chance at love again due to the Volturi coming and killing Esme in the fight (imagine she died during the fight in breaking dawn). What will happen when Carlisle realizes that he has a second chance at love? Does he take it? Does he leave it knowing it will hurt her in the end when she realizes what he is? Or does he tell Melissa about himself and his family then turning her after? What will happen if he decides to turn her? What will she do? ---------------------------------------------- I look at Carlisle then look away. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks me. "I was scared." I say. "Scared about what?" He asks me. I close my eyes as I drop my head. "I was scared that you would reject the bond. I didn't know what I would do if you rejected the bond we have." I say in a whisper. "I wouldn't reject it. I'm a vampire and you're a shapeshifter. Not only are you a shapeshifter, but you're also my true blood singer. Esme was but not my true blood singer. And when she died 5 years ago, I didn't feel depressed. I felt relieved that I could find my true blood singer. And that happens to be you, Melissa." He explains to me. I open my eyes and look at him.

I Accidentally Summoned a Demon by JaideHarley

"I know you're a virgin but have you never been touched?" He asked, sliding his other hand down onto her leg. "What makes you say that?" Kat breathed, bracing her hands on the counter. "You react like someone who's never felt another's touch," Nex whispered, slipping his thumb under the band of her shorts. "So, have you not?" Kat opened her mouth to speak but stopped when his hand slid up from her leg, gliding up her stomach and stopping just below her breast. "Not even here?" He asked, following the curve of her breast with one finger, not touching, staying just below as he dragged it back and forth. "What about here?" He asked, sliding his hand down from her ribs to the bottom of her shorts then around to her butt, fingers nearly grazing it as he inched them up, under her pajamas. "I can say with certainty, never here," he said, lowering his other hand under the waistband of her shorts, touching the top of her underwear. "No, you've definitely never felt that before. I can hear your heart racing, I can feel your breathing, I can smell your body responding like it's never experienced these sensations before," he whispered, sliding a finger just underneath the band. "Should I answer its call?" #1 in demons on 6/15 -6/17/20! Again on 6/20 and 6/22-6/23! Sweet and innocent Katherine has a routine and is a little tightly wound. She was simply trying to rehearse lines for an audition. Next thing she knows, she's reading out loud her Latin lines and suddenly someone appears, claiming to be a demon she summoned to kill someone for her. Turns out demons can be hot. And he's getting pissed off she won't give him a name so he can kill and go home. The problem is, pissed off turns into something else and before he knows it, he wants to take away some of that innocence and loosen her up, or better yet, tie her up make her his. This is only available until Nov 1st, after that only on Patreon until published

i'm back, baby by gothasf

Benny walked into his house, knowing that since it was Thursday, Grandma Weir would be at her "Latenight Bingo." Where she gets drunk and spends the night at her friend Shelby's house. Benny threw down his now empty bag on the couch and collapsed next to it, running his hand through his shaggy hair. "Every supernatural creature is after this stupid Lucifractor thing- that we are now in possession of, Ethan's date with Sarah was ruined, and everything just sucks," Benny absently whined out loud. "Can things get any worse?" he groaned, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling. "I'm glad you asked." Benny shot his head up at the voice. He knows that voice all too well. That deep yet girly voice he once loved. And when he looked up, he wished he hadn't. Cause he met glances with bright green eyes with a tint of blue. The curly black haired beauty he once loved more than his Grandma's freshly baked cookies was leaning against the wall, hair now pin straight, leather jacket-covered arms folded, a smirk playing on her burgundy colored lips. "Hi Benny Boo," she put on a sentimental smile and batted her eyes innocently, "did you miss me?" Benny just let out a high pitched scream. __________ When Benny Weir's ex-girlfriend shows up out of nowhere after having mysteriously fallen off of the face of the Earth two years ago and leaving her friends behind with no indication of where she was or what happened, Benny is hysterical. She left him all alone when he needed her most, with starting their first year of High School just days after she left. But he didn't have much time to think about it, for he knew that with what was going on with the Lucifractor, she wasn't there for a reunion. She changed, dramatically, from her hair to her outfits to her makeup. But this wasn't like her- at all. Something happened, and Benny was going to figure out what it was. __________ I do not own any "My Babysitter's A Vampire" characters or the plot foundation of the story.

Blood Lust by MC_Matthews

Ancient Blood Series: Book 2 - She shook her head the micro amount his grip would allow. "I... I killed all those people!" "Yes," the word came out in a low purr, and her heart fluttered. There was a heat in his eyes that made her legs tremble. "You killed them. And how did it feel?" She stopped shaking. Her breath slowed, and the world went quiet. It was just them. Did she dare say it out loud? He would understand. He saw right through her... as he always did. That special brand of lust and hunger he brought out in her sparked to life. Kate leaned into his touch, lifted herself up on her toes until she was a fraction of an inch away from his lips, and whispered, "I loved it." - This book has a MATURE rating for adult content and is not appropriate for audiences under the age of 17. - Approx. 175,000 words - Enjoy

My Mate...The Human? (BoyxBoy Mpreg) ✅ by arabella_tomlinson

READ BOOK ONE : "MY MATE.....IS A NERD?" FIRST Book 3 in "My Mate...." series Princeton SaintClair, eldest son of Lucas and Caleb SaintClair is your typical 22 year old boy with a few select group of friends. He's in second year of college where he's studying medicine. He still lives at home, with his parents and four younger siblings. He's known as the jokester and the caretaker of his friends as he's always watching out for them and making sure they don't get in trouble. Jessie Rivers is your typical all around class clown known for his sarcastic remarks and clumsiness. He's 18 year old and on his last year of high school. He's has a small group of friends that he considers family. He's father passed away when he was only 4 years old and his mother became an abusive drunk leaving Jessie to raise and care for his three younger siblings. He can't wait until the day he graduates and leaves home taking him siblings with him. What will happen when Princeton suddenly finds himself locking eyes with a boy four years younger than him? What happens when he notices the fading bruises on his body? What happens when Jessie bumps into Princeton on his way home and accidentally spills his coffee on him? What will happen when Jessie feels a connection with the male four years his age? Follow the story of Princeton and Jessie and see what happens when two complete opposites clash and learn to navigate life and learn to love. This is the third book in "My Mate..." series read "My Mate....the nerd?" and "my Mate....rejected me?" First so you don't get confused

The Haunted Memories (Forgotten Series, #4) by AMLKoski

Life is full of ups and downs. Sorrel Lamar knows this very well. Five years ago she was happy at home with her parents, the beloved niece of a childless Alpha who had been grooming her to take his position since she first shifted. She was surrounded by incredible friends and loving family. Her twin sister, Magdalene, the most loving of them all. Then it all changed. They came in the night, a group of illegal rogues attacked the pack territory and when the pack was still reeling from the suddenness of the attack and the deaths that followed. The pack's greatest enemy struck at them viciously and without mercy until there was nothing left. Sorrel escaped with only her life intact. Everything else was simply... gone. Five years after she is now the Alpha of a territory she never asked for and is trying to put the pieces of the gutted pack together again. She is trying to bring the lost pack members together so the pack can once again be stable and have unity. It's a harsh battle to bring the pack from silence into truth but Sorrel is trying her best. She isn't sure which is more difficult though. The pack she is attempting to fix with limited knowledge. The vampire she saved three years previous. Her Beta who breaks the bones of males without provocation. Her Delta who snaps and snarls at anyone who attempts to approach him and his mate. Or the very fact of when she closed her eyes to sleep, she is bombarded with memories that are not her own and that she is always surprised to find she is still alive in the morning. That's because those haunted memories belong to someone who was killed, murdered to be exact. Sorrel doesn't know why she views these images while she sleep and she isn't sure how much longer she can take it. After all, in the memories she is forced to witness the last of her family dying over and over again and Sorrel knows one thing for certain. She can never change the past, no matter how badly she wants to save Magdalene.

The Bad Boy's Girl by antheas

Disclaimer: A very non-classy humor infused werewolf story. No seriously, the only reason its up and running is for sh!ts and giggles. If you want something slightly more sophisticated, feel welcomed to read my other books. ❇ Imagine this. You are at school everything is peachy fine. You are minding your own business when BOOM a muscular 'wall' crashes into you. What do you do? You freaking insult them until you make them angry as those cartoon figures in the tv where they are beet red and steam pours from there ears! Why, because to you it's the most rational reaction. But what happens if that isn't what they do? You do bump into the wall you do insult them but they look off? Happy? Almost bursting with joy? Then I believe he is a werewolf and your his mate. I mean I didn't do anything wrong! I swear on my best friends! Ok there was that one time! And that other time... Okay! I get it karma is a b*cth. Gah I should of thought about going ape sh*t on the sketchy granny last week... Oh well. °completed° #947 in Werewolf Oct. 19 #674 in Werewolf Oct 21 #532 in Werewolf 1.17.19 #1 in Comedy

Bound To You by iWearGlasses2

"I'm sorry Luna," I said, with the little bit of respect I could muster and slightly bowed my head. "But I can't simply forgive you. You're still thinking that I'm no good for your son. I want to be a part of your family and be happy with you guys and also make your son happy. But right now your thinking I'm just some whore that doesn't know how to properly love your son the way you love him." "Mother, what does she mean by your still thinking?" All I saw on Andre's face at that moment was the worry he felt for his mother. I knew his mother wasn't like this. I didn't know her personally since I haven't been around for a long time but something was definitely wrong with the current Luna. "I'm sorry son but I just can't come to terms with what has happened. I need a bit of time to process." "Does 90 minutes cover the time you need dear?" the alpha said. He had a worried expression on his face too. What did he mean by 90 minutes? Did something happen when I was in that dream? Follow the life of Katalina Regina as she starts her journey on finding out her true power, her true potential and maybe even her king. Will she find a way to surpass all the trials and errors in her way? Or will she fail miserably and die trying? Keep reading to find out! FOR MATURE AUDIENCES contains brief sex scenes and extreme violence Don't be afraid to leave some critiques and let me know what you think about each chapter. I'm human too so I am bound to make mistakes, so please excuse those. I'm writing for the fun of it so please don't critique too hard and leave the NEGATIVE VIBES OUT!! only GOOD VIBES here. Updates on EVERYDAY I hope you enjoy and Thank you in advance ;3

Fated by JaideHarley

****COMPLETED**** "You're driving me crazy," I growled, dropping my hand down to her waist then around to her lower back, sucking her earlobe into my mouth and dragging my teeth along it. She groaned and dropped her head back against the wall. Her sounds were intoxicating. I could smell how much she was responding to me and it brought my need for her out even more. I cupped her cheek and brought my lips over to hers, just barely brushing against them. "Addie," I whispered against her mouth, threading my hand through her hair. ... Addie has been abducted and thrown into the supernatural world. She discovers vampires have kidnapped her to manipulate an Alpha werewolf. Not just any werewolf, her mate. Or so the guy in the cell next to her says. Problem is, they've underestimated her because she's human. She's going to show them how much damage a human can do. Alpha Xander's past comes back to haunt him and his Beta has been missing for two days. Xander is finally contacted and offered a deal: his life for his Beta's and the mate he has yet to meet. He's been waiting his whole life to meet his mate and will do anything to keep her safe. Except she doesn't need as much help as he thought she might. #2 in pack on 5/22 #1 in mates 6/22 WARNING This is an adult book. It will have mature language and scenes.

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Kill Me Now (Modern Cliches, #1)

Book One of the Modern Cliches series ~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi, my name is Sasha Elaine Wimbleton. I am your perfectly average twenty four year girl. The only thing I am slight above average for is the cynical and snark categories but I had an average childhood, an average school experience, average friends, marks, parents, and life. So in a life full of averages I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or count for the fact I was kidnapped by a self professed werewolf who claimed I was his undeniable, true love, one of a kind, soul mate. I'm sorry but I'm really not into that whole Stockholm Syndrome thing... This isn't mentioning his pack is in this long standing feud with his younger brother, Fergus, who wants him dead because of a reason he wouldn't tell me. I only met him a few times where he and Damien snapped and snarled at each other and exchanged threats. In which I was either being manhandled by Damien or with his Beta, Vince LeStat, a.k.a. the future father of my children. Stuck in a pack of testosterone filled fucking werewolves and being unable to actually make a move on the guy I dig because the guy who is obsessed with me has declared he will kill any man that touches me. All I can say is: Fucking kill me now.