Reflection on life

I am a 49 year old woman and tomorrow is my birthday so this seemed like a good time to reflect over half a century of life. I can't really call this a long and amazing story of self discovery or anything. This is simply a collection of four instances in four different time periods of my life where I was so lonely that I voluntarily decided to write.
So these may not be the most interesting stories but these are the things that I wrote during the darkest moment of my life, so dark that I couldn't even see myself. Also they are not in a chronological manner (deliberately).