My Meraki
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- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Thu, Jan 16, 2020
So after my scoliosis surgery, I have been feeling worse than usual. The things were just gotten overwhelming so easily and so quickly. I know I wasn't feeling very stable before but now it just got so out of hand, I can see myself putting up an empty smile and echoing chuckles. Everything about me feels so fake. Since I don't trust much anyone nowadays, my teacher suggested me to get my feeling out by writing them. So this is what this is all about. So to you (the reader and whoever stumble upon this) please do keep this note on the back of your mind. This is personal to me, I trust you all to be respectful and careful with your words as I allowing you to treat this book like any other book you see here. With that said, Thank you for even bother reading this and thank you for everything.
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#64
gloomy
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I was kicked around like trash on the streets. I was the book that nobody could understand or read, but without a care, they were quick to rip out the pages. I screamed for attention, but time after time, I was ignored. Nobody noticed me, so I made myself at home in my own shadow. They say there's light at the end of the tunnel -- I searched and searched for it, but it could never be found. Therefore, I lost hope as I hid in the shade and endured what seemed like everlasting pain. The little hope I did have was snatched from my arms. My baby brother was my life, and they took my glimpse of hope away. Home. Is that a word? Maybe for a family of some kind, but for me, I never had a place to call home. I moved from place to place. Unstable foster care, fighting for my life in group homes, barely surviving in detention centers, and running away from being mistreated as I made many benches my temporary home. The only thing that I was familiar with was a black plastic bag containing my dirty rags. I am too young to know what it feels like to survive. These are the cards life has dealt me and I am not meant to win; however, I easily lose without trying. It is hard for me to find peace. I am paying for my mother's reckless actions. I am trapped in a world where the sun has died because I am unable to feel love. I am unable to dream. Sorrow is my aura, and the sadness hugs me. My eyes are closed shut by the barbed wire fence from my eyelashes as they prohibit tears from falling. I am damaged. When will the morning come? Did the sun put up a fight last night, like I do every single day? If I can survive the day, I know the sun isn't dead. One day, I will awake to a glorious sunrise. Until then, I hope my brother keeps blowing his pinwheel, and I will keep making wishes with every dandelion I come across. For now, all I know is that everything was taken from me, and the only thing I own is my name.
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