BFPF

B, Becoming friends. Yes! I want to have a friend admitted to be friendly. Nothings bad about it i guess. Say it, i have an excuse, he is my workmate. Oh, Dia here and this is my story of spoiling the feeling that I "once" had. I work as an assistant of a firm who invested so much time of healing people. Hospital it is. Chaos, queues were unbelievable. Well that's how assist needs to be proven effective. Not a nurse, nor doctor but glad to be at help with these folks. I have bump into different characters which made me enjoyed so much about this job. Been pass into different departments and groups however feels so unlucky to be unrecognized by you know, what makes my cheeks red (tints can be reliable but too permanent) and then one day, I got this chill that I cant explain. Wait, thought i could feel warm but this time it was chilled yup! Frozen! The time was frozen when I saw this guy. Don't judge me, i tried reaching and grabbing his hand but (wait! It's just another person relax!) suddenly he spit out that beautiful name. Nevan! Simple means "Holy" so he was smiling at me, but i still need to prioritize the hold that i was preserving. So I responded "nice to meet you". F for friendships. More days and weeks and months have gone, we became good friends. So many things we've shared so many laughs we exchanged so many surprises that I never thought i could experience. But still the other half of me says, No, he won't build feelings to someone who doesn't believe it (love) existed. It's hard to fight with your ego you always deny things which you yourself knows there is something yet you're too afraid to let it happen. Advance negative mind activated. Or maybe you're too afraid to loose the friendship. Time passes you caught him getting close to you and still denying that it isn't love but true friendship. "Yes let's just have it this way" but what is this? My heart started to break. Am i husting myself? Or am i hurting him? Should I start making him feel comfy?