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10 Days to Live

10 Days to Live

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WpMetadataNoticeÚltima publicación mié, ago 5, 2020
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Hi, I'm Shane Walker. I'm a 17 year old in my junior year of high school. I love my music loud so I can ignore all the things people say about me. I always look down so I can't see the weird looks people give me. I don't fit in with the rest of the people in school. I don't have any friends and I'm really not sure I want any. People are cruel to each other and only care about themselves. Who needs friends when you know they're just going to hurt you in the end? People are so quick to judge someone before they even get to know them. Apparently labels are the only thing anyone cares about in high school. "Emo" is the label I got stuck with. Everyone takes one look at my long, shaggy, black hair or the eyeliner or the music I listen to and decide I'm not even worth a conversation. I guess if I'm being honest I really am the definition of "emo", but that's not the point here. I really don't know what the point is anymore. What is the point? Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? What is my purpose? Do I even have one? I'm not even sure if the story I'm going to tell you has a purpose. Why am I telling you? Why am I telling someone I've never met that I have 10 days to live?
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Save Me

I never felt wanted - or loved for that matter - since I was little. You see my parents divorced when I was little, if you consider my dad running out on us a divorce. Then yes, they were divorced. It wasn't until years later that my mom stopped looking at me. She told me "it was all my fault" that dad left and after a while, I began to believe her. As I grew older I found my mom's love for me had vanished. That's when I changed. I felt that if my own mother couldn't love me, then who could. Over the course of time I changed everything about myself. I changed my whole wardrobe, my hairstyle, even my body. I changed so much, that by the age of sixteen, I lost my virginity to a boy who was just using me. I cried myself to sleep for months after that - I still do. Time has passed and I still pretend that I'm not bothered by other girls' remarks about me. How they call me a “whore” and “worthless”. I put up with it all because I think - no, I know - it's true. I'm seventeen now and I feel myself drowning in a pool of my problems. I need to be saved: Not from my past, but from myself.

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