used again and again
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Última publicación lun, ene 20, 2020
They choose me for the
football defending position
When I was in 5th grade
I realized why they were so nice to me
Cause I was too dumb to quit
Too dumb to not be there when
everybody left and I standing alone
In the fields
telling myself 1+2=3
And getting the laughs out of the grass rustling
They might be telling each other
How much a of a fool I am
To believe that someone cares
enough to give me any place
And like that I got sexually abused
and assaulted in the coming years
And declared with a low iq
By my English teacher
But I kept moving on
As if it too hold something valuable too me
Then I became sick of trying
And like that my love for sadness intensified
And grief became my only companion
What a life?
We all just buffoons here
What a disgusting piece
of chewable food it is.
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Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️
***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.Concluida
OLD | Shattering Constellations | Countryhumans | COMPLETE!
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Secretly in Love
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This Is Just Between Us
(Cover made by my pumpkin crowsong on YouTube and Tumblr) (I apologize for not posting, this book is getting harder and harder to write so I'm taking a long break and writing other stories as a mental cleanse. I do have unpublished chapters written but they need art and my artist is busy. I will finish the story i promise, this book is my baby but it's so long and it's not even close to being done, I'm a junior in highschool now so I'm also extremely busy and stressed. Please forgive me) America a college student has been bullied by Russia since 6th grade because he had children by then. After highschool they never saw each other again but they meet again in college which pisses America off. In the first few months of college he learns about Russia's ex-girlfriend south Africa who's very spiteful about the breakup and Liechtenstein someone who hates Russia, for some reason America wants to be the only person Russia can hate and the only person who can hate Russia. So he decides to make a plan on how to kill two birds with one stone. Russia is a cold hearted, mean, always negative country so much to the point he put his only child up for adoption. He's always bullied America because he had 13 kids at 12 and 28 at 13 and it just kept multiplying giving him more fuel to bully America for and when they separated paths after highschool he thought he'd never see the small annoying country again, but then he bumps into America at college and shit starts all over again. Russia is oblivious to those who hate him other than America so he doesn't see any later events coming.
Saved
"I've realized, over the past few years of high school, that people are like vampires. They suck your dignity, self-confidence, and your self-esteem right out of your body, like it's blood. They infect you with the poison of hatred, greed, and selfishness. You can't escape their venom, as it's always there, lurking in the darkness, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. I've learned to deal with the sting of the bite, as it never goes away. I tried to not be infected, but the poison spreads like a wildfire, eating away at every inch of your body, until you disintegrate into nothing, and you're forgotten." 🏅achievements🏅 as of 12/30 - ranked #68 in suicideawareness as of 12/30 - ranked #888 in anxietyConcluida
All Hipsters don't wear Glasses
This is my story,my life. Middle school isn't easy,it's the hunger games wedged in between your happy elementary years and your wild highschool days.Middle love and enemies are just the beginning of my problems.Here's a Doses and Mimoses,that song though,of my life. Everything I write and say is the truth and nothing but the truth. If your going into middle school or just started-Ill pray for you.Cause' your gonna need it. This is mainly my 8th grade year with some flashbacks to seventh grade which was the best year for me personally. I may have at one point hated everyone around me while I was there,but now that I'm leaving middle school,I'm really and truly gonna miss them. They are what made us,us,and we were pretty awesome,not to brag. But our class was pretty crazy and so were our teachers.Concluida
Why You
Just poems. Some poems that I have written and others from the internet. If you would like to send me poems, I will dedicate that page to you. Or if you want to stay anonymous that's fine, too. Poems that I have wrote will have a '*' at the end. Please don't steal my own poems, because I worked hard on them. If you do choose to steal MY works, I am hurt. Use your own inspiration and creativity, please, it's not very hard (edit: it is very hard) ;) The poems that I have not written belong to there rightful owners. I will not be taking credit for them.Concluida
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the suicide mind
"and you left me with bad habits like cracking my knuckles and wearing your sweater because the smell of you still lingers. you left me chewing at the skin of my skin on my lips because maybe just maybe if it's gone the taste of you will be too, but the problem is i can't tear off my skin. so i'm left with the shivers down my spine when my body remembers your hands running up my back as you kissed me and it paralyzes me because i miss it. i miss you. i miss smiling between kisses because damn you just made me happy and I thought I made you just as happy because you would smile and whisper "what" but i would just shake my head and pull you close and it was real. it was. all of it. so why did you leave me? why?"Concluida
My life has always been terrible. I was always bullied at school. I don't know why, it just seemed that people didn't like my presence. The guys would beat me up and I'd get in trouble when I defended myself, for the teachers never saw what they did. The girls would trick me, making me think they liked me and laughing at me because of it. I was always in the principle's office for one reason or another, but I wasn't a bad student. I actually got really good grades. To make matters worse, my mother wanted nothing to do with me. She'd lock me in the basement, sometimes for days, with no food or warmth. My father would then sneak down and beat me before raping me. So, naturally, I wanted to die. But, for some reason, I can't die. No matter what I do, I can't stay dead. The thing I want more than anything is far out of my reach. Why can't I just die? Warning: mention of rape, suicide, and abuse. Also, this is a boy's love story.
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