Thinking Out Loud

Growing up we were inseparable. From the time we were 4 until now, we were joined at the hip. I had feelings for you but never could put a label on it. I mean I don't know if you like me in that way. I never had the courage to blurt it out. It's not the easiest thing in the world to explain how madly in love I was with you.

One day after work, I decided to make a detour before going home. I had my headphones in and kept a steady pace as I walked to the store to make dinner. Little did I know, I wouldn't make it back.

You haven't heard from me in a few days but no one has told you what happened. It takes the hospital a while to piece together my identity. The hospital tried to reach out but hasn't gotten through to anyone yet. Decisions need to be made and I'm not alert to make them. I hear them but I can't wake up from this state of limbo. I hear the nurses discussing everything and I feel like I'm shouting in my head to no avail. They told me the risks and I can't make up my mind. I'm panicking and have no way of telling you what's happened. Time continues to tick by and all I can think about is trying to wake up enough to tell them who to call. You beat me to it and call to check on me. Much to your surprise, it's not me you're talking to.

They rattle off large terms and scary phrases while asking you to come down. I envisioned us together but not like this. I don't want you to hear it from them. I'd prefer it be me. I'm afraid to at the same time because there's no exact way or rulebook that tells you how to tell your best friend you're madly in love with her and on top of that, drop the bombshell that you're not doing so well.

I'm Zuri and I have a confession. I'm madly in love with my best friend, Everleigh. She just doesn't know it yet. I don't even know if I fully know what's going on with me. I don't have the confidence to tell her what I feel. This is my process. I'll tell you the entire story.