Athanasius Finch: Private Dick | ONC 2020 - Sam Camp - Wattpad

Athanasius Finch: Private Dick | ONC 2020

Reads 4,290
Votes 520
Parts 13
Time 2h 25m

Reads 4,290
Votes 520
Parts 13
Time 2h 25m

absurdist action adult adventure assassin blackhumor comedy contemporary dark darkcomedy death detective humor mystery noir novella onc2020 opennovellacontest2020 parody romance satire thriller

Beatrix Cagliostro, a starving Doctor in Letters, is hired as a Ghostwriter by Athanasius Finch, an eccentric and megalomaniac P.I, and together they will solve the biggest mystery there is: how to pay rent and not die trying. 

                                                                                   ***** 


Beatrix Cagliostro(pen name) thought she had hit rock bottom as a starving artist in New York with an art degree that only qualified her to be a Subway's Sandwich Artist®, but when she finds an Ad for a live-in ghostwriter/sidekick, she jumps at the opportunity. 

What she couldn't predict was that her new employer, the self-proclaimed "World's Third Best Detective" Athanasius Finch, would flip her world upside-down as he peels back the fat upperbelly of New York's society in a conspiracy involving evil personal care products, secret American royalty, and oddly watery Clamato. 

But the biggest mystery of all, one that will take their whole, undivided attention, is how to make it to next month without starving in the process. 

                                                                *****

My entry for the #OpenNovellaContest using prompt #58 "If we are assigning blame, then this is your fault for leaving me alone with explosives in the first place."All Rights Reserved

absurdist action adult adventure assassin blackhumor comedy contemporary dark darkcomedy death detective humor mystery noir novella onc2020 opennovellacontest2020 parody romance satire thriller

Table of contents

13 parts

Sign up to add Athanasius Finch: Private Dick | ONC 2020 to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

Gilded Obsession by PebblesPebblesPebs

Alexandria Evergreen, a bored heiress to her dearest father's hotel empire with a penchant for justice on her own terms and too much time on her hands, lives a life of luxury and moral ambiguity. Behind her poised façade lies a dangerous secret: she quite enjoys seeing the life leave the eyes of abusive and perverted men - and the occasional woman - who believe themselves untouchable, operating in the shadows of high society. Clarke Griffin, a struggling law student in her final year, is barely holding her life together. Clarke has just landed an internship at a prestigious law firm, a position she fought hard for. Now all she wants is to graduate, pass the bar exam, and start building her career, following in the footsteps of her late father. From the moment Alexandria lays eyes on a stunning Clarke, she's obsessed. What could possibly go wrong when one is morally grey at best, entirely unhinged and a walking red flag at worst and the other embodies everything Alexandria isn't - pure, principled, and committed to the legal system? I'll be putting trigger warnings below, and I will add to the list as new potential triggers become relevant in the story. Always feel free to let me know if I have missed any. TW: Strong language, blood and gore, murder, sexual content, mature themes, violence, mentions of abuse (of all kinds), sexism, torture, mention of drugs, mention of suicide, absolute toxic, obsessive, and unhinged behavior.

Death Swap by Thatgurlaturdoor

NASA officer, ex-military woman, and staunch feminist Andrea Taylor didn't expect to meet her death on a quiet Tuesday night at the hands of an inexperienced robber with a gun. Even less, she didn't expect to regain consciousness only a few minutes later beside a grumpy local writer. In the 18th century. What else is needed to make her journey more tumultuous than it already is? ✓A young aristocrat trying to make her his whether she likes it or not. ✓A generally grumpy journalist who seems too fun to taunt(she may or may not have feelings for him). ✓Four extremely protective older brothers. ✓Her anxiety flaring up at the wrong times. The icing on the cake- a treasonous plot unfolding in the background All while Andrea learns to navigate the world of 'Miss Imelda Danbury' with zero memories.

𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐘 (+𝟏𝟖) by JourdonPatron

Upon turning eighteen, Mallory Carter is thrust into an arranged marriage with a man she passionately despises. After enduring months of emotional abuse, she decides to run away in pursuit of a fresh start. But fate takes an abrupt turn a couple years later when she captures the eyes of Hunter Sionis, an affluent businessman who develops a sinister obsession with her. Forcing their proximity, Hunter hires her as a live-in a nanny when she finds herself in a financial struggle, leading to a professional relationship that becomes something deeper. Little did Mallory know of the demons that hid behind Hunter's ocean eyes or his twisted game that she unknowingly became a part of until it's too late. She belonged to him, only him. She was Hunter's Prey. ─────────────────────────────── I fail to suppress the whimper that manages to escape my lips. "So scared," he whispers. "Yet so fucking wet." "I...I'm not wet..." He leans in, the tip of his nose trailing along the side of my face as his grip around my throat tightens and he lifts me off the mattress by my neck. He slides his free hand into my panties, depositing two fingers into my core. The coolness of his rings prompts a loud moan from me before he pulls them out. "Liar," he growls, glossing the seams of my lips with my own arousal. "Now, open your mouth, bambi." ⚠ TW: This book is a dark romance containing mature themes such as graphic violence, murder, mentions of abuse & self-harm, strong language, age-gap relationship and explicit sexual themes. Reader discretion is advised. Copyright ©2024. Jourdon Patron. All Rights Reserved

Rose Winter (UNDER EDITING) by classicalwriter

Alexander Ridden...a ruthless,controlling man.Who gets what he wants, when he wants, and how he wants it at the snap of his fingers. Until he decides that he wants something more than money can buy or can it? Rose is a determined soul once was full of hopes & dreams now filled with pain and heart breaks.A party filled girl by night and a determined waitress by day. What happens when these two cross paths into a dangerous game full of lust,love,secrets, & hatred? "You can't control me i'm not your puppet! I don't do what you say I don't follow rules and if you think even for a second that I will...you're the most ignorant most foolish person I've ever come across!" she spat walking in the house. Thats it I slammed the door and grabbed her wrist turned her back towards me and roughly pinned her on the door with her arm behind her back. "Oh Rose Winter little do you know how much control i have over you.Do you really think you just can disobey me and get away with it you know i hate when you walk away from me" i whispered in her ear anger filling my body.

Waiting Shapeless by KennyFyor

*Completed* Ranked #1 in alienplanet in Jan 20 2020 Please, LISTEN TO ME!! I know you think I'm crazy and I know they told you I'm dangerous, but you have to just listen!! My people are dying! They are being killed, ruthlessly slaughtered by the millions!! I know exactly who is doing it too-but it doesn't make any sense. I don't understand why they are doing it. Please help me, help us!! To whoever gets this message, I can't do anything from here-please! I am begging you!! Please-just get me off this damn planet!! [END TRANSMISSION] ------------------- Earth is not alone in harboring life. The galaxies and universes have been opened, and all the intelligent beings residing in them have been connected and unified with each other. It has been over a million years since the Pentaverse, a cluster of five neighboring universes, was organized and unified. Now, hundreds of otherworldly species live in relative harmony with the one another. The unification was good for many species, but for some species, the change caused unexpected extinction. As a team of the Conservation of Species Committee investigates a mysterious decrease in the population of a robotic species, they stumble upon something that could potentially result in the destruction of the entire Pentaverse. This is not your average Wattpad story about how the 'bad boy meets the good girl'. This book is about a series of mysteries that begin to unfold as you read and travel through space with a group of unsuspecting aliens. This story will make you laugh, it will shock you, surprise you, and it will leave you hungry for more-all the way to the last word. Be aware, there are some adult themes in this book including drinking, swearing, love making, death, and murder. None of those topics are explored too deeply however, so I do not think it is appropriate to give this book a 'mature' rating. *********** @2020wattyawards

$𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝟏𝟖+ {𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄} by Anushka__S$

**Pinning me under him, with me completely at his mercy... "If fucking you was an art, I'd paint you all day, Tesoro" He whispers mischievously, his smooth voice flowing over me like silk before he slams his entire length inside me ** _______________________________ Tired of living her life monotonously after witnessing the most gruesome sides of life. Phoebe Carter couldn't be more than ecstatic given the opportunity to work in a foreign country with people as powerful as Hunter industries and Russo Industries. And of course to work alongside her friends Ava and Noah. However things take a swift turn when she lays her eyes on Blayze Hunter, CEO of Hunter Industries, and every single boundary she set in her life is shattered. Like a moth to a flame, she desires him, and surprisingly for her, the feeling is mutual. But we can't always say yes to our deep dark desires now can we? After all, Phoebe is anything but normal and Blaze is the exact opposite of what he seems to be. Even with a lot of things at stake, they continue their passionate affair. As dirty secrets are revealed, all the rules are shattered, lives taken, psychotic sides revealed, will it all end in an inferno? For some people are too damaged to be ever fixed at all. ______________________________ #1 in Dramatic - 18/01/2021 #1 in Temptation - 20/02/2021 #18 in Romance - 02/01/2021 #1 in Fatal - 19/03/2021 #1 in Hot-Romance - 15/01/2021 #2 in Intense - 1/3/2021 #3 in Claim - 03/01/2021 #2 in Infatuation - 18/01/2021

Get A Life | ONC2023 Shortlist by OnceUponASonder

While her best friend Cassidy snacks on brie and boys in France, Darcy Li-Quinn must face her last year of high school and the unpredictable wrath of her sister, Danica, alone. Darcy's plan for dealing with Danica and her heinous friends is simple-be invisible. But first, she's promised Cassidy she'll do 'one brave thing'. Mustering the courage to say 'hi' to the cute boy on the bus, Darcy expects rejection or indifference. She doesn't anticipate a grumpy ghost with unfinished business who needs her help. Suddenly, a quiet year of flying under the radar looks increasingly unlikely. *** Rationally, Hunter Viera knows that his brother's death wasn't his fault. But that doesn't stop his guilt about Archer invading his every thought or lessen the grief sitting heavy in his chest. Changing schools offers a fresh start, and Hunter's plan is simple-be invisible. But he hasn't counted on Darcy, or her ludicrous claim that Archer speaks to her from beyond the grave. Suddenly, a quiet year of sitting on the sidelines looks increasingly unlikely. *** This is a story about hearts and hope and public transport. This is Darcy and Hunter's story (and a little bit Archer's too). *** 'Get A Life' is my entry for Open Novella Contest 2023 and is inspired by the following prompts. 20. You finally build enough courage to talk to that cute someone you see every day on the bus. Their face turns dark as they respond "You shouldn't be able to see me." 9. There's an urban legend that's been circulating for years about a taxi cab that doesn't take you where you want to go, but where you need to go. One night, you stepped into this cab.

Killer Sweets! by ChibiRedd1

"Why did you, lovely policemen, brought me here?", I asked. "Because we believe you've done this.", the police answered. Kassandra Pastel, or Kassie used to live with her father in Slocomb, Alabama until he went berserk with his boss. Where her mother, you ask, well in a health center mentally ill department (to her it seems like an mental ward) talking to tea leaves and in rhyme, yep a wonderful life for Kassie. So she move to her aunt's home in her mom and aunt's hometown of Blackwell, Michigan. Why is people started showing up dead? Why do she hear voices in her head at night? Find out in Killer Sweets(Killing have never been this sweet!). The following story have: ~Suggestive Rape ~Thoughts of Suicide ~Mentions of sex ~Murder(Obviously) ~Slight Cannibalism/Gore/Blood Story Started: August 18, 2015 Story Ended: September 8, 2018

Running With Scissors by Sam_le_fou

Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive! ***** When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to die painlessly. Still, death seems to elude his every attempt, so he hires an assassin to kill him at a random time and place within the month. Unfortunately for Peter, right after he orders the hit, a treatment is discovered that would add decades to his life. Now Peter Katz has to start running, until the month-long deadline ends. Desperate to survive, he has to deal with tall-dwarves, unionized suicide workers, art terrorism and all the insanity that being alive has to offer. Will he make it to the end of the month? Or will Peter Katz live a life's worth of craziness in however many days he has left? For what is Comedy, but Tragedy + Time? [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]

CORONA by black-cypher

Set in 2023 on a parallel universe, fifteen patients in a drug experiment research facility have no choice but to fight against a mutated version of COVID-19 when researchers flee the building. Some patients have the placebo drug, while others unknowingly have the deadly virus mutating in their bodies. One thing isn't clear: Who has the virus, and who is killing off the rest? Best read in the dark with a black screen. Warning: This book has very disturbing content and briefly mentions suicide. Reader's discretion is advised. You've been warned. Read... or you're next. #23 in Conspiracy Theory Awards won (mostly Mystery/Thriller or Horror genre) 🥇 Creory Awards 🥇 The Pineapple Awards 🥇 The Quarantine Awards 🥇 Starlight Book Awards for Best Antagonist (Everyone) 🥇 The Quarantine Awards 🥇 The Coronation Awards 🥇 Billboard Novel Awards 2020 🎖 Most Popular Book (Library Promotes) 🎖 Library Recommends 🥈 in the Diamond in the Rough Awards 🥈 in the Library Awards 🥈 in the Discovering Elites Awards 🥈Noble Awards 🥉 Imperial Awards 🥉 The Pineapple Awards (Overall Winner) 🥉 Starlight Book Awards for Best Protagonist (Kiana) Started on: May 14, 2020 Completed: June 20, 2020 DISCLAIMER: This entire book is a work of FICTION and made for ENTERTAINMENT. Please do not misconstrue anything mentioned in this book as fact. Some of the things mentioned are based on conspiracy theories and nothing else. Please don't sue me, I only have a dollar to my name! #TheCoronation If you are reading this story on any other platform other than Wattpad, you are very likely to be at risk of a malware attack (you may have heard about the Truyen malware hack). If you wish to read this story in its original, safe form, please go to https://www.wattpad.com/story/223838014 Thank you.l

You may also like

Slide 1 of 10

Gilded Obsession cover

Death Swap cover

𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐘 (+𝟏𝟖) cover

Rose Winter (UNDER EDITING) cover

Waiting Shapeless cover

𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝟏𝟖+ {𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄} cover

Get A Life | ONC2023 Shortlist cover

Killer Sweets! cover

Running With Scissors cover

Gilded Obsession

Alexandria Evergreen, a bored heiress to her dearest father's hotel empire with a penchant for justice on her own terms and too much time on her hands, lives a life of luxury and moral ambiguity. Behind her poised façade lies a dangerous secret: she quite enjoys seeing the life leave the eyes of abusive and perverted men - and the occasional woman - who believe themselves untouchable, operating in the shadows of high society. Clarke Griffin, a struggling law student in her final year, is barely holding her life together. Clarke has just landed an internship at a prestigious law firm, a position she fought hard for. Now all she wants is to graduate, pass the bar exam, and start building her career, following in the footsteps of her late father. From the moment Alexandria lays eyes on a stunning Clarke, she's obsessed. What could possibly go wrong when one is morally grey at best, entirely unhinged and a walking red flag at worst and the other embodies everything Alexandria isn't - pure, principled, and committed to the legal system? I'll be putting trigger warnings below, and I will add to the list as new potential triggers become relevant in the story. Always feel free to let me know if I have missed any. TW: Strong language, blood and gore, murder, sexual content, mature themes, violence, mentions of abuse (of all kinds), sexism, torture, mention of drugs, mention of suicide, absolute toxic, obsessive, and unhinged behavior.