Book Of Counted Sorrows
- Reads 194
- Votes 25
- Parts 16
An exercise in demented Adventure. A Test of ingenious Insanity. Fragile words spewed forth into the abyss of the the electronic medium. Diamonds forged in the coalmines of Memory. *OR......just pages upon pages of crap ;-)...* Only Time and Effort will tel. It begins here... May it NEVER end.
Consider this FAIR WARNING:
I do NOT write to make others feel better. I write to exorcise the Demons of my Soul; lest they devour me in a Darkness so complete it defies sanity. If you are looking for Rainbows.. Flowers.. Happy Endings.. etc.. Then this is NOT the Book for you.
The only thing I can offer you is Understanding. For some- that is enough. Others prefer the Road well traveled. I walk the Paths lit by darkest light. Where warnings to run the other way are soundly ignored. I will shine an uncomfortable flashlight into the twisted recesses of thought. I will DARE you to not look away.. To ADMIT you walk here too.
*and always remember: no one is ALONE in the Dark. For even the Darkness itself is a type of company. A stranger that you just needed to talk to a bit, before you realized you had quite a bit in common... and are not SO different after all*
DOUBLE WARNING!!!
though I go to RIDICULOUS lengths to extol the "virtues" & seduction of Death- I by NO MEANS endorse or encourage SUICIDE. I believe that Death should come to YOU; NOT visa-versa. Worry not my friends.. He shall surely find you in His own time. I only wish to convey that even the Darkest thoughts can be wondrous to explore. Traveling the Darkness on purpose to come out the other side, is a victory not rewarded enough.
~ALL poems/words are mine unless otherwise indicated. All material copy written- do NOT plagiarize. If you would like to use any of my poems or parts of a poem for something just ASK. (I will very likely say yes). Thank you & I hope you enjoy exploring the Dark as much as I have ~
All Rights Reserved
#253
thoughtsofsuicide
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Trash Book of Extra.
Warning: I am a weirdo. This will contain some thoughts of mine, some poems, some deep shit, some thoughts I have as I go through the journey of self-exploration, lmao. Some chapters may be seen as too controversial but whatever you know. I mean, reading this is your choice. You don't have to. I mean, I'd like you all to read every chapter but it's not a story book so you may skip some chapters you don't like and read the ones that you do like. P.S. I do not deny that my thoughts are somewhat influenced by my environment and experiences. Also, this is the real me. Some people think I'm quiet and cold-hearted but on the inside I'm actually a big softie with feelings. To be honest, it's kinda my fault since I hate revealing my emotions to other people or even asking for help until I have to. And even then, I start hating myself for being such a weakling. That is a major character flaw of mine that I must overcome!Complete
Sold To My Husband (MxB)
~Book One Of The Sold To Series~ *UNEDITED* Sneak peek.......... "Yes, he's my son, please don't hurt him I'll do anything" he begged. Does my dad finally care about me? But why he gotta tell him I'm his son that now put me in more danger, dammit! "Anything?" the Greek god said once again scanning over my body before licking his lips. "Give me your son," he said smirking which causes his cute dimples to poke out dam- wait what did he say? "Mr. Dragon, Please anything but that" my dad pleaded. Of course, I love my dad and he loves me we just have a fucked up way of showing it but my dad would never give me to this sexy motherfucker. "I'll give you 2 million dollars," Mr. Dragon said I assume that's his surname since that's what my dad called him. "Really?" my dad asked is this dickhead bastard considering it, yes I finally said it and I don't regret it. I'm worth more than that considering I'm a virgin and have a big ass so it's gonna have to be more than that before I let that happen. "Sorry but-'' my dad was about to refuse the offer when he interrupted him with another offer. "4 Million dollars and considered all your debts paid," He said. My dad quickly got up and looked at me before looking back at Mr.Dragon. I know my father is not about to- "OK." my dad said. "Wait! Hold up Mister, I'm 18 which means I'm old enough to make my decision and my dad do not have a say in this!"I yelled. Causing all attention to myself which I quickly regretted. Mr. Dragon face lights up in amusement at what I just did. "Either that or you both die, simple," he says looking me in the eyes. Why are his eyes so damn intimidating?! *Sorry not really good at descriptions * WARNING!: MATURE LANGUAGE AND CONTENT!!!!! Voices- Rank #5 to Rank #3 to Rank #1 Sold-Rank #13 to Rank #7 Mxb- Rank #9 to Rank #4 Mpreg - Rank #2 Bought - Rank #2 Bxm - Rank #2 Anyway, hope you enjoy! :)Complete
The Light in the Dark (Completed)
Cover made by the amazing @mikeyspizzadope (go check them out they're cool) It's 3 A.M., and you can't sleep. Your heart feels like it might burst out of your chest. Your ears are ringing, echoing in your brain, and everything hurts so badly. Your vision is going blurry as you try to fight back the tears, and you're wondering why you even try anymore. At one point or another, most of us have experienced the feeling of worthlessness, shame, or guilt. We feel like we're at rock bottom, and it seems like nothing will ever get any better no matter how hard we try. One thing we do know for sure, though, is that where there is dark, there is bound to be light, no matter how small that speck may be. There's always hope, no matter how far out of reach it may seem. There's always light in the dark. TW/CW: mentions of anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts. "I know that even when things seem dark and at rock bottom, there's always hope. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. As small as that little shaft of light may seem, it's not out of reach." - something a friend of mine once told me All of the poems in this book have been written by me. Completed on August 22, 2020Complete
Caged By Him
"WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT INSIDE YOUR HEAD?" He trapped my trembling body between his arms and slammed his fist into the wall. I flinch at the sound as I feel tears forming in my eyes. "I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR CRYING. JUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE NEVER LEAVING. THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW, WITH ME" He spits, anger consuming his voice as I push myself further against the wall. Shutting my eyes closed and turning my face to the side as I do. Moments later, I feel his rough hand on my waist and his finger grazing my cheek. "Look at me, love." His hand grips onto my jaw, his thumb playing across my lower lip. He turns my face to meet his as I lower my gaze to the floor. He lowers himself to my level and I feel his breath fanning my cheek causing my breathing to become unsteady. "I love you so much, darling. But you need to learn. You need to learn that you won't be going anywhere. You're mine." With that being said, his other hand slides down to my waist "Your entire body, your mind, your soul. All mine." All I could do was tremble at his touch. How can someone so beautiful be so heartless? ~~~~~~~~~~ All a 19 year old Aurora Shaw wanted to do was work to make a living and volunteer at the orphanage. Unfortunately for her, ruthless and cunning 26 year old Mafia leader and billionaire Tristan Black had other plans for her. He's been waiting for the perfect moment to kidnap her and finally make her his queen after 2 years of watching and stalking her every move. He'd kill anyone who gets in the way of getting what he wants. What will happen when he ruins everything she wanted and forces her to marry him? Will she escape and resist him? Or will she submit and accept her fate?Complete
𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 | 𝟏𝟖+
✧ 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐋𝐘𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈 (𝐀𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐍) ✧ When I was six I was kidnapped and taken away from my family for seven months. Thirteen years later and I have little to no memory of who had taken me. Ever since then my father has been severely overprotective and never lets me out of his sight. Now that I'm somewhat on my own everything starts to change. When I finish high school and start attending New York University my life takes a turn, for better and for worse. They're back. ☆ 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 ☆ Years ago we found our little angel. She just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was the light in our lives, until one day we lost her again. Thirteen years later and we still mourn the loss of our sweetheart, but we found her once, we will do it again. I am the head of the Russian mafia, or a professor at NYU depending who you ask. One day I raise my head to look around at the sea of students and my eyes lock on a familiar pair of ocean blue irises. ★ 𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐋 ★ I'm a heartless killer and offer no apologies for it. As the head of the Russian mafia along with being the CEO to a multibillion dollar company, my life is nothing but darkness. During the day I'm an office man, at night my knife slashes through the necks of anyone I can get my hands on. Killing is my outlet, ever since I lost her. It helps me keep my anger in check. I've never stopped looking for her. We've come close multiple times, but each time came out unsuccessful. As I put a bullet in the head of my ex-guard, Alex comes rushing into the room, and the look on his face says it all. He found her. Start: July 4th End: ///
Words Unspoken
There is a community of the spirit. Join it, and feel the delight of walking in the noisy street, and being the noise. Drink all your passion, and be a disgrace. Close both eyes to see with the other eye. Open your hands, if you want to be held. Sit down in this circle. Quit acting like a wolf, and feel the shepherd's love filling you. At night, your beloved wanders. Don't accept consolations. Close your mouth against food. Taste the food. You moan, "She left me." "He left me." Twenty more will come. Be empty of worrying. Think of who created thought! Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking. Live in silence. Flow down and down in always widening rings of being. There's a strange frenzy in my head, of birds, flying, each particle circulating on its own. Is the one I love everywhere? Drunks fear the police, but the police are drunk too. People in this town love them both like different chess pieces. ----------------------------------- All things that we hide in our hearts eat us alive. This book is - full of emotions, love, care and agitation. Well, you need to read this to know what's in. Moreover, It consists of quotes, snippets, poems, bits of advice...Ummm simply deep and random stuff. Go Ahead! HIGHEST rank #1 in poetry as of 19.02.2018 ----------------------------------- 4/10/17 --- 19/04/18Complete
Warning: I am a weirdo. This will contain some thoughts of mine, some poems, some deep shit, some thoughts I have as I go through the journey of self-exploration, lmao. Some chapters may be seen as too controversial but whatever you know. I mean, reading this is your choice. You don't have to. I mean, I'd like you all to read every chapter but it's not a story book so you may skip some chapters you don't like and read the ones that you do like. P.S. I do not deny that my thoughts are somewhat influenced by my environment and experiences. Also, this is the real me. Some people think I'm quiet and cold-hearted but on the inside I'm actually a big softie with feelings. To be honest, it's kinda my fault since I hate revealing my emotions to other people or even asking for help until I have to. And even then, I start hating myself for being such a weakling. That is a major character flaw of mine that I must overcome!
More detailsContent Guidelines