AA vs. Alcoholics Anonymous

AA vs. Alcoholics Anonymous

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After spending years sober I hit a new bottom,a bottom in recovery that no human power could relieve me from. That meant meetings, fellowship, sponsees, all of it stopped working. I had forgotten the most important aspect of the program and was surrounded by people who did the same. We fellowshiped together and we then helped others to stay sober following exactly what we had done. There was no recovery in sight but a lot of gratitude for our physical sobriety we worked hard for. We were sober alcoholics and it worked...until it did not. Once an alcoholic realizes that even in sobriety and even after taking the steps and even after "Yes" being the most spiritual I could say for years....I was forced to fully concede to my innermost self that I was not happy, joyous, and free. God sent me to my sponsor who has been walking in the light of her recovery for over 62 years and I let it all out! Then I began my journey to recovery- I finally put my tool-kit down that I held like a clutch and allowed myself to feel the truth of who I was and where I was at. I got rigorously honest in my new hopelessness and I began to pursue the spiritual remedy for my malady with a willingness I had never before been able to muster- oddly enough that too is in the book.
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A healer. A survivor. A victim of profound injustice. How does someone who has dedicated their life to helping others find the strength to heal themselves after losing everything? In December 2019, I woke up in a psychiatric hospital following a suicide attempt. A simple conversation with another patient sparked a shift within me-a glimmer of clarity that would change the course of my life. But how did I end up there? What devastation could drive a loving spouse, a therapist, and a lifelong survivor to the edge of despair? This book unravels the journey that led me to that breaking point and how I found the strength to keep living. My story is one of triumph and tragedy-of overcoming paralyzing shyness and social anxiety to become a psychotherapist, only to have my life shattered by unimaginable injustice. Between 2000 and 2006, I lost everything I had built: my home, my career, my community, and the love that once gave my life meaning. The destruction was sudden, like a meteor crashing down, and the aftermath left me in ruins. Worse still, the world condemned me as a villain when I was only ever a victim. But this is not just a story of loss. It is a story of survival, of how I faced the darkness and chose to keep living. It is a testament to how love, hope, and the power of connection can guide us through even the longest night. Through this memoir, I share not only my pain but also my triumphs-the moments of joy, love, and meaning that kept me fighting for life. I write this book for anyone who has ever felt unseen, unheard, or unjustly condemned. I write it to show that healing is possible, that our stories matter, and that no matter how broken we feel, there is always a path forward. This is my story. But it is also a story of hope-for you, for me, and for anyone who has ever longed for justice, healing, and love.

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