Complaint Department [On hold]
  • Reads 492
  • Votes 61
  • Parts 6
  • Time 39m
  • Reads 492
  • Votes 61
  • Parts 6
  • Time 39m
Ongoing, First published Feb 10, 2020
Mature
As a highly trained member of the American military, Cade Aloysius Calvert was supposed to die in a blaze of glory. Instead, he died choking on a hot dog. Immediately after dying, Cade resigned himself to the fact that he'd be stuck in a bland afterlife that looked more like a waiting room at an automotive repair shop than a fluffy paradise full of clouds and winged dudes wearing dresses and playing harps. So, when God and Joan of Arc offer him a position on an elite team that tracks down people who have literally fought off the grim reaper, Cade readily agrees and joins a cast of characters including Attila the Hun and Hitler's dentist. Things go great until Cade gets an assignment that he just can't handle: an unassuming waitress named Addison Brown. Will he reap her soul, or will Cade cave? Who knows? All I know is be careful when you eat hot dogs...

*A/N: Hey, yo! FYI, this story was born from a writing prompt over on the @CircleofJerks profile. You can find the original first chapter over there in our Jerk Prompts book (It's prompt #5). Also, special thanks to my Wattpad BFF @Bksbybkr who gave me the confidence to branch out into humor. You're the bestest, BBs!
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