Shadows
- Reads 187
- Votes 9
- Parts 9
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Pinwheels and Dandelions
I was kicked around like trash on the streets. I was the book that nobody could understand or read, but without a care, they were quick to rip out the pages. I screamed for attention, but time after time, I was ignored. Nobody noticed me, so I made myself at home in my own shadow. They say there's light at the end of the tunnel -- I searched and searched for it, but it could never be found. Therefore, I lost hope as I hid in the shade and endured what seemed like everlasting pain. The little hope I did have was snatched from my arms. My baby brother was my life, and they took my glimpse of hope away. Home. Is that a word? Maybe for a family of some kind, but for me, I never had a place to call home. I moved from place to place. Unstable foster care, fighting for my life in group homes, barely surviving in detention centers, and running away from being mistreated as I made many benches my temporary home. The only thing that I was familiar with was a black plastic bag containing my dirty rags. I am too young to know what it feels like to survive. These are the cards life has dealt me and I am not meant to win; however, I easily lose without trying. It is hard for me to find peace. I am paying for my mother's reckless actions. I am trapped in a world where the sun has died because I am unable to feel love. I am unable to dream. Sorrow is my aura, and the sadness hugs me. My eyes are closed shut by the barbed wire fence from my eyelashes as they prohibit tears from falling. I am damaged. When will the morning come? Did the sun put up a fight last night, like I do every single day? If I can survive the day, I know the sun isn't dead. One day, I will awake to a glorious sunrise. Until then, I hope my brother keeps blowing his pinwheel, and I will keep making wishes with every dandelion I come across. For now, all I know is that everything was taken from me, and the only thing I own is my name.Complete
Painless
Dear World, I don't know who I am. This is me trying to find out. Book 1Complete
The Third Wedding
This is my story, essentially these are real events I've lived through and I'm processing it by writing it down as a fairytale. It's probably fine. THIS IS DEDICATED TO MY FRIENDS: You are the ONLY ones who got me through all of these struggles! Thank you for saving me everyday. To me, you are the magic, thank you!Complete
The Diary of Me
I have marked this story as "completed" but I don't know if it will ever actual be complete. This is my journal, my secrets, my thoughts. This is The Diary of Me.Complete
Everything Hurts
I knew what was coming later tonight, not only at home, but on the way there. I knew that reacting right now would just make it worse though. So I kept quiet and pretended that I was not dreading when I would be alone with the man that stood beside me, wondering when it became so normal to do so. Jason and Alicia have the perfect relationship from the outside looking in, but Alicia has kept her wounded spirit and body hidden well. After another one of Jason's violent rages that is impossible to hide, Alicia is finally able to get away from the abuse though. In the process of healing, she begins to relearn what trust, compassion, and safety are once again - that is, until Jason discovers her whereabouts. All Rights Reserved © Copyrights analiciapaloma 2014 © 2017 edits by Analicia Feliciano Book Cover Design by Analicia Feliciano (FIRST FOUR CHAPTERS *ORIGINAL AND UNEDITED* AVAILABLE HERE. PUBLISHED E-BOOK/PAPERBACK EDITION AVAILABLE ON AMAZON. LINK IN BIO.)Complete
All The Things I Could Have Told Her
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Too Many Maybe's
I used to think there'd be no living without you. Then, you walked away. Like it was the easiest thing in the world. We finally stopped making sense to you. So, you left. Why wouldn't you. It didn't matter that it still made sense to me. That I still held on to all those what ifs and unanswered questions of us. Still hoped for things to work out somehow. Still needed things to work out. Needed it like food and water. This story might not make much sense to you, reader. It was written for him. And in many ways for myself. But I am grateful for your desire to explore our life's tale non the less. It was quite something. I hope you'll get something out of it.Complete
Yours Truly, Mooncalf
This is a personal documentation through poetry. I am learning to look inward now, give myself love when I least want to. I do not live to love others, I live to love myself. I will find and create what is enough for me, and you will learn to let it be enough for you. 2022Complete
You will Know the Truth
***completed*** "Amanda! Come back here!" My stepmother yelled at me. I hated her! I really hated that bitch! "Like I fucking care, you bitch!" I cursed. That is my conversation between my stepmother and me. Why do I hate her so much? Well I have my own reason. She did so many bad things in her life. Relationship between siblings and parents have been destroy because of her. My heart has been tore into pieces and maybe love can help me? I don't know about my future and I really want to know about it. Maybe one day everything will reveal? You will eventually know the truth about it. UNEDITED CHAPTERSComplete
Silent Oblivion
****ALL CREDIT TO THE PHOTOGRAPHER OF MY BOOK COVER**** The voices in my head tell me it's okay. They say I'm allowed to hurt myself. I'm allowed to create paintings on my skin with razor blades. These monsters in my head are my friends, not my enemies like people seem to think. I don't have a mental problem like my father seems to think. I'm not a freak like my brother thinks. And most importantly, I'm not dead. Why am I not dead? I deserve to die. I'm not worthy of the breath that fills my lungs. I should be dead. But I'm not. And there is only one reason why.Complete
I was kicked around like trash on the streets. I was the book that nobody could understand or read, but without a care, they were quick to rip out the pages. I screamed for attention, but time after time, I was ignored. Nobody noticed me, so I made myself at home in my own shadow. They say there's light at the end of the tunnel -- I searched and searched for it, but it could never be found. Therefore, I lost hope as I hid in the shade and endured what seemed like everlasting pain. The little hope I did have was snatched from my arms. My baby brother was my life, and they took my glimpse of hope away. Home. Is that a word? Maybe for a family of some kind, but for me, I never had a place to call home. I moved from place to place. Unstable foster care, fighting for my life in group homes, barely surviving in detention centers, and running away from being mistreated as I made many benches my temporary home. The only thing that I was familiar with was a black plastic bag containing my dirty rags. I am too young to know what it feels like to survive. These are the cards life has dealt me and I am not meant to win; however, I easily lose without trying. It is hard for me to find peace. I am paying for my mother's reckless actions. I am trapped in a world where the sun has died because I am unable to feel love. I am unable to dream. Sorrow is my aura, and the sadness hugs me. My eyes are closed shut by the barbed wire fence from my eyelashes as they prohibit tears from falling. I am damaged. When will the morning come? Did the sun put up a fight last night, like I do every single day? If I can survive the day, I know the sun isn't dead. One day, I will awake to a glorious sunrise. Until then, I hope my brother keeps blowing his pinwheel, and I will keep making wishes with every dandelion I come across. For now, all I know is that everything was taken from me, and the only thing I own is my name.
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