48 parts Complete "I see the world and it seems like I see it so differently than most other people. It makes me really angry most of the time. Especially since no one ever listens to me or what I've got to say. I try to express myself in so many different ways and no one sees it. When I sing a song people will only care about how the music sounds or how much I swore. If I paint, people will see the picture but not the meaning. It seems so obvious to me but everyone just seems to... close their eyes. Or at least shut off their brain. As if I see things they don't. But when they don't listen, how can I communicate that to them? It's so frustrating."
Allie is a high school student and has big plans to make the world a better place. But her own head is pitting against her, throwing rocks in her path on a daily basis. Everything seems to be great for a while but what happens when her world suddenly comes crashing down around her? Can she ever recover?
A coming-of-age story that deals with mental ilnesses, grief, first loves and family, briefly taps into the subject of religion and will likely enrapture you.
Trigger warning: mental illnesses, self harm, death, dealing with grief, mentions of guns and gun control, mentions of cults, mentions of homophobia, dissociation.
Names of bands, band members and song titles have been changed but at this point I want to credit mainly Palaye Royale, the band 'Homesick Soldiers' that is mentioned throughout is heavily based off them, but I'm sure if you're familiar with them you would have been able to tell that :)
![white ferrari [Billie Eilish] by billiesstoriess](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/249676143-80-k729106.jpg)
![white ferrari [Billie Eilish] cover](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/249676143-256-k729106.jpg)