I'm So Sorry For Everything...

I'm So Sorry For Everything...

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Mon, Feb 17, 2020
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Non-Fiction
Guys I'm sorry I've been unable to update so many of my stories. I've been trying so hard not to succumb to depression but the fight in me is giving up. I've lost jobs and I'm unable to help my Mom and Dad with their medical bills, I've been in and out of college until they suspended me and said "It's for the best", I'm unable to keep up with therapy but the last thing they told me is, I'm suffering from PTSD, I have severe depression and need to see a psychiatrist to get put on antidepressants, and I'm having too many ''mental'' and ''emotional'' breakdowns in one day. Writing was my passion and my escape. The writing I have in my book now compared to what I have on this site is a load of shit! AND I HATE IT! I'm really really really trying not to kill myself but I want to leave this letter here and hopefully my ''family'' and I use that term loosely will have enough sense to look here and see my letter of how hard I tried but never got appreciated for anything!!!!!
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#689
suicideprevention
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***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.

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