- Reads 2,730
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- Parts 198
- Time 58m
Ongoing, First published Feb 17, 2020
Mature
a collection of poems and some 3am thoughts from a broken soul *possible trigger warning* this story deals with sexual assault, abuse, depression, anxiety, suicide & addiction. if you are struggling, reach out. it's okay to not be able to do everything alone. you matter and you deserve to live.All Rights Reserved
Table of contents
- 995 days *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Feb 17, 2020
- you are more *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Feb 17, 2020
- scars *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Feb 17, 2020
- daddy, don't you love me? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Feb 17, 2020
- how can you have parents but not really have them at the same time? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Feb 17, 2020
- rest *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Feb 17, 2020
- you left me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Feb 17, 2020
- I crave your touch *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Feb 17, 2020
- i am nothing *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Feb 22, 2020
- trapped *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Feb 22, 2020
- imperfect *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 8, 2020
- everything *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, Feb 25, 2020
- i don't want to fight anymore, i'm just too tired *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, Feb 25, 2020
- trauma *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Feb 26, 2020
- i love(d) you *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Feb 26, 2020
- do you ever just cry because you're you? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Mar 4, 2020
- loneliness *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Feb 28, 2020
- never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Mar 4, 2020
- where are you? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Mar 4, 2020
- dying is easy, it's living that's hard *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Mar 4, 2020
- nothing ever lasts *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 5, 2020
- realization *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 5, 2020
- all i feel is pain *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 6, 2020
- i wish i could ignore you like you ignore me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 8, 2020
- mystical *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 8, 2020
- you are the pain i won't give up *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 8, 2020
- something better *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 8, 2020
- you don't know me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 8, 2020
- unwanted *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 8, 2020
- infection *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 8, 2020
- what a plot twist you were *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 8, 2020
- is it too late for me? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- I'm not actually mad at you, I just want you to care *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ ✧Sun, Mar 8, 2020
- if i let myself care, all i feel is pain *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- i didn't want love like this *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- you *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- better off alone *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- i would have loved you forever *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- my heart was made to be broken *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- explanation *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- I'm trying really hard not to get hurt again *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- my best wasn't good enough, i get that *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- tag, you're it *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- the voicemail *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- it's late *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- goodbye *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- life isn't a fairytale *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 9, 2020
- I don't want to feel empty anymore *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 12, 2020
- poison *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 12, 2020
- shattered *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 12, 2020
- I never should have told you how I felt *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 12, 2020
- being alone was easy before I met you *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 12, 2020
- you will be okay *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 13, 2020
- insanity *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 13, 2020
- you are not broken *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 13, 2020
- you can't count on me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 13, 2020
- you don't give up on someone you love *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 13, 2020
- maybe I'm better off alone *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 13, 2020
- home *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 15, 2020
- how am i supposed to be kind to myself when you never taught me how? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 15, 2020
- it will never be enough *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Mar 18, 2020
- you killed me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Mar 18, 2020
- i'm falling again *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 19, 2020
- you've got stars in your eyes *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 19, 2020
- i can promise if you knew me, you wouldn't want to stay *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 19, 2020
- we were our own threat *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 19, 2020
- maybe i'll never know *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 19, 2020
- it's crazy how in a matter of seconds you can turn into a memory *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 19, 2020
- sacrifice *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 19, 2020
- you can't fix me because i'm not broken *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 19, 2020
- was it all for nothing? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 19, 2020
- drift away with me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 19, 2020
- i wonder what it's like to love your life *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Mar 19, 2020
- darling, you're different *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 20, 2020
- destroy me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 20, 2020
- grab my hand, i'm drowning *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 20, 2020
- you will find a meaning in the chaos *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 20, 2020
- waiting *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 20, 2020
- i am a danger to myself *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 20, 2020
- tell me you love me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 20, 2020
- she loves hard because she knows how it feels to be loved so little *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- I'll be fine somehow *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- the last phone call *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- i felt like destroying something beautiful *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- you're everywhere except right here and it hurts *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- hearts break when people change but feelings stay the same *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- i won't beg *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- I wonder what I look like in your eyes *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- who are you when nobody's watching? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- how could you leave me? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- I don't deserve to be loved *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- i have to let go *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- will i ever be free? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- when am i gonna lose you *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Mar 21, 2020
- exhausted *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 22, 2020
- i wish you'd love me back *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 22, 2020
- because in the end, what am I without you? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 22, 2020
- can somebody help me out? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 22, 2020
- I've been secretly falling apart *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 22, 2020
- i wonder what i could've been *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 22, 2020
- my heart is blue *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 23, 2020
- who would love someone like me anyway? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 23, 2020
- just another waste of space *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 23, 2020
- i just can't tear you out *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 23, 2020
- the ending is the same every damn time *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Mar 23, 2020
- i am just a fool *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Mar 25, 2020
- i love you but you make me feel so sad *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Mar 25, 2020
- life is toxic *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Mar 25, 2020
- we bleed the same *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Mar 25, 2020
- to me, it's already over *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Mar 25, 2020
- leave me in pieces *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 27, 2020
- misery is the only thing that feels right *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 27, 2020
- can you hold me? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Mar 27, 2020
- athazagoraphobia *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 29, 2020
- leave *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 29, 2020
- tell me why *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Mar 29, 2020
- when you cut *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Apr 1, 2020
- yes, i'm changing *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, Mar 31, 2020
- I guess being lonely fits me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, Mar 31, 2020
- maybe *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, Mar 31, 2020
- addiction *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Apr 2, 2020
- i finally decided I need to let you go *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Apr 4, 2020
- used to it *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Apr 8, 2020
- deep down, I don't want to be alone *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Apr 4, 2020
- maybe you weren't the one for me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Apr 4, 2020
- I was only ever a second option to you *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Apr 4, 2020
- I've been looking for love in all the wrong places *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Apr 4, 2020
- I don't understand *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Apr 4, 2020
- I know exactly how it feels *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Apr 4, 2020
- society *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Apr 4, 2020
- it isn't easy *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sun, Apr 5, 2020
- you are something I only ever dream of *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 10, 2020
- you're a fool *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Apr 4, 2020
- give me a reason to start again *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 10, 2020
- i am nothing to you *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Apr 11, 2020
- you almost convinced me I mattered *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Apr 11, 2020
- right now death sounds so fucking peaceful *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Apr 13, 2020
- shatter me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Apr 13, 2020
- i just want to stop feeling alone *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Apr 13, 2020
- you've always been right *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Apr 13, 2020
- roses *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Apr 13, 2020
- it still hurts *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Apr 13, 2020
- i was a coward *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, Apr 13, 2020
- don't let go *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, Apr 14, 2020
- you put in all the effort *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, Apr 14, 2020
- say you're here but I don't feel it *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, Apr 14, 2020
- i blame me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, Apr 14, 2020
- I feel left out all the time *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, Apr 14, 2020
- everything was okay for a while *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- you don't get to destroy me, i destroy me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- we live in a world built on promises made by liars *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- was I really in love or was it something we all look for? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- silence *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- is this what you really want? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- if i lose myself then i lose it all *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- I dont understand what I really feel *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- I lost my mind when you left me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- lying isn't better than silence *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- welcome to self-destruction *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- don't give up on me now *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, May 14, 2020
- sorry *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, May 14, 2020
- fragile *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, May 14, 2020
- you left in peace and left me in pieces *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- all I know is that I don't want my life *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- why does your love hurt so much *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, May 19, 2020
- stupid me, thinking I was good enough *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ ✧Mon, May 18, 2020
- not long until you figure out im useless *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Tue, May 19, 2020
- sleep *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- i am just a fool to keep on chasing after nothing great *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Mon, May 18, 2020
- don't give them the chance to break you *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- wake me up when they build that time machine *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Apr 17, 2020
- do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, May 14, 2020
- i'll never love again *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, May 14, 2020
- i am finally free *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, May 20, 2020
- tell me you miss me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jun 19, 2020
- beautiful but destructive *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jun 19, 2020
- you are just a fool to keep pretending that you're loving me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jun 19, 2020
- paradox *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Wed, Jun 24, 2020
- you don't miss me, you miss the feeling *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Thu, Jun 25, 2020
- and we're suicidal *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- you're not so innocent yourself *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- i hate this *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- and we're suicidal II *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- for you *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- thunderstorms *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- okay? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- falling but i never thought you'd leave me *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- i'm not hungry *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- i survived but it's not a happy ending *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- maybe I'm too busy being yours *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- i love you too *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- run *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Fri, Jul 17, 2020
- everything i've ever let go of has claw marks on it *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Jul 18, 2020
- don't wanna cry but i break that way *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Jul 18, 2020
- i'm trying really hard not to think about you *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Jul 18, 2020
- my soul is jealous, it wants love but i reject it *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Jul 18, 2020
- but who fights for you? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Jul 18, 2020
- i wonder what it's like *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Sat, Jul 18, 2020
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