i thought this was the end for me
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  • Parts 7
  • Time 2h 12m
  • Reads 14
  • Votes 0
  • Parts 7
  • Time 2h 12m
Ongoing, First published Feb 17, 2020
Mature
Morgana is entering her sophomore year at the University of Cambridge. She is studying to become a lawyer, just like her Dad. She's been preparing for this her whole life so why does it feel impossible? She's gotten nothing but straight A's all through her life so why is University such a challenge for her? Maybe it's all the pressure from her family to carry on their legacy. Everyone in Morgana's family has gotten a law degree from Cambridge. Maybe it's all the pressure she's putting on herself. She really wants to do her family proud but is it all really too much for her? It's not like she doesn't have great friends but they're never there when she needs them. Her two best friends started dating and have been spending everyday together, it's like they've completely forgotten that she exists. Her older brother moved out last year so now she has no one to talk to. Her parents are always working, even when they're at home. Whenever she tries to bring it up, they just shut her out. "Honey, can't you see I'm working," is what they always say, whenever she wanted to tell them about....it. About what she's going through. About what she's done. You see the thing is, Morgana is suicidal. But no one really seems to care. The only person she's been able to tell just called her 'attention seeking'. Everyday after her lectures she'll go home and lock herself in her room. Her parents just think she's going there to work on homework. They have no idea what actually goes on behind her door. She has a razor blade hidden within her underwear drawer. She sits on her bed, grabs the razor blade and well you know. There's also a notebook in her underwear drawer too. In that notebook she's written out multiple suicide plans and suicide notes. She has an idea of when she's going to do it and how and where she's going to do it. She's just at that point where she feels as though she can't carry on anymore. This all changes after she meets Leo.
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Your suicide? Oh please, daddy. That didn't change me. I'm only trying to please you, trying to be perfect. And trust me, I've achieved perfection. I ran my school. If there was a crown, I'd be wearing it. I had all the guys on top of me, all the insecure little nitwits wrapped tightly around my finger. We still have your money, so I'm rich, gorgeous, thanks to your wonderful features, my dear father, and I was popular. I was perfect beyond belief. Now you; your secret still horrifies me. Why did you take your life? Your family so dearly loved you. I will find out, just for you, and so that you will say that I'm perfect in every which way as you watch down on me. Or up at me, whatever side of your wonderful personality the Lord took. However, my father, there is this new kid. I can't seem to remember his name. He's the silent type, perfect prey for my friends and I. But he's different. In fact I have made a deal with him. He'll help me solve your mystery, daddy, on one condition; I change my ways. He's such a joke, a cute joke. Oh what must I be saying, he's absolutely insane. I don't need to change my ways, I'm perfect. If anything, I should be helping him. Oh I remember now, father. Aiden. Aiden is trying to perfect me. What a laugh, isn't it? Perfecting something that's already perfect.