i thought this was the end for me - Jaye Warren-Cheung - Wattpad

Story cover for i thought this was the end for me by warrenja15

i thought this was the end for me

Reads 25
Votes 0
Parts 7
Time 2h 12m

Reads 25
Votes 0
Parts 7
Time 2h 12m

Mature

college love mentalhealth romance suicidalthoughts suicideawareness youngadult

Morgana is entering her sophomore year at the University of Cambridge. She is studying to become a lawyer, just like her Dad. She's been preparing for this her whole life so why does it feel impossible? She's gotten nothing but straight A's all through her life so why is University such a challenge for her? Maybe it's all the pressure from her family to carry on their legacy. Everyone in Morgana's family has gotten a law degree from Cambridge. Maybe it's all the pressure she's putting on herself. She really wants to do her family proud but is it all really too much for her? It's not like she doesn't have great friends but they're never there when she needs them. Her two best friends started dating and have been spending everyday together, it's like they've completely forgotten that she exists. Her older brother moved out last year so now she has no one to talk to. Her parents are always working, even when they're at home. Whenever she tries to bring it up, they just shut her out. "Honey, can't you see I'm working," is what they always say, whenever she wanted to tell them about....it. About what she's going through. About what she's done. You see the thing is, Morgana is suicidal. But no one really seems to care. The only person she's been able to tell just called her 'attention seeking'. Everyday after her lectures she'll go home and lock herself in her room. Her parents just think she's going there to work on homework. They have no idea what actually goes on behind her door. She has a razor blade hidden within her underwear drawer. She sits on her bed, grabs the razor blade and well you know. There's also a notebook in her underwear drawer too. In that notebook she's written out multiple suicide plans and suicide notes. She has an idea of when she's going to do it and how and where she's going to do it. She's just at that point where she feels as though she can't carry on anymore. This all changes after she meets Leo.All Rights Reserved

college love mentalhealth romance suicidalthoughts suicideawareness youngadult

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Capstone by StrawberryFire777

Scrambled Senior, Sage Arland, is starting to realize that her remaining school days are numbered, and there's only a matter of time before she graduates and moves on from being a university art student. There's a lot of work to do before she can earn her degree, and if that wasn't overwhelming enough, she'll be facing obstacles that may jeopardize everything she's been working for. As graduation approaches, Sage comes face to face with choices that could drastically change the outcome of not only her final year at university, but derail the life she's pictured for herself. The pressure is on, and everyone around her feels it. In order to graduate with an art degree, every art major must pass the art capstone and spend their final year producing their best body of artwork to date. Sam, the head of the art department is responsible for nurturing the budding artists, but his approach, and his whole being, come to think of it, are the opposite of what Sage and her friends need to feel challenged and successful. When Sam ends up favoring Sage's artwork over her peers, the senior art major cohort starts to sniff out. And if a sketchy professor wasn't enough to throw off Sage's work, there's always roommate drama to come home to. Sage and Beck were last-minute placed to room with who they thought was a pretty normal peer: Lissa. Shortly after move in, the two girls find out that Lissa is attached at the hip to James, her erratic boyfriend. Boundaries are crossed, belongings are stolen, and the peace always goes unkept. Each day is one day closer to wrapping up the most unpredictable chapter of Sage's life so far.

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ by ZaynismRules

***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.

Release Me by anna_rose01

Highest ranked- #10 in action 2/16/2017 A promotion. That's all I wanted. I didn't want to run for my life. I didn't want to be kidnapped. I didn't want to face death. I didn't want to find out my whole life was a lie. I just wanted a bloody promotion. Guess fate had other plans? **** The cold air fanned over my face as I opened the door. The exit door lead to the back of the building so it was pitch black. I leaned against the wall trying to control myself. Blood was running down my arm and head. My hair was stuck to my face from all the sweat and blood. Everything was spinning around me and the ground seemed like it was shaking. Groaning I sat down and put my head on my knees. He knows who I am. He knows how I look like. He knows where I work so possible knows where I live. I am not safe anymore... no where. While I was in my own world I heard faint sounds behind me but I didn't bother to look or run away. The footsteps got closer and I was pretty sure it was Walker's men. I should run. I should try to fight. But what's the point in trying to run away? He would eventually find me and if he has his way he would most likely kill me. If this is my fate then why am I trying to fight it? I felt someone harshly grab my waist and pull me up and I complied. They dragged me down the alley and into the busy street. I heard the opening of a car and the next thing I knew I was being thrown into a car. My head hit the hard leather seat and the door shut behind me. Maybe this is how my life will end. Maybe I should just let it happen. Maybe I was destined to die alone as a no one. With that I let the darkness consume me.

Control Me (book 1) by Gunthenator

"Who's there," I can't breath. I'm always looking over my shoulder ever since- I can't think about the now. I have to run but where, back to Jake? No I can't, everything is different now. He's supposed to be here to protect me, because if the got me... blood smears the pages of the passed. "Sapphire!" I hear him call. "Coal!" I reach out to touch him only for him to be yanked just out of my reach. I hear the wolves in the distance howling at the beautiful moon. I need his touch again. I need to know I'm safe. The only safe place anymore is pressed against him under the sheets. "Coal!" I call out again. ---I can hear her. She's here somewhere I know it. I can smell her sent threw the thick of the woods. "Sapphire!" I call out, but my call is lost in the night. I have to protect her. I have to save one, just one. Maybe that will be enough to clean the blood off my tainted skin. What if they get her? She'll... Change... I look up at the moon, could she not have heard my howls? Of course she did. She always did. I can hear the other wolves in the forest. Soon I too would be engulfed by the beast. Unable to control myself, unable to predict the beasts next move. Only she could tame the beast inside me. Why be afraid of the monster under the bed when you should be afraid of the one lying next to you under the sheets.--- I keep quiet in the deep dark night. Watching her waiting for her to come back to me. I wait for him to slip up just long enough for me to swoop in and take her. It's only a matter of time. I wait for him to turn into that hideous beast. The beast that only comes out in the light of the moon. The beast that feeds of the insentient. I have to find her,to make her perfect, at least that's what they tell me. They tell me she'll be perfect and she will be mine. She will be the beginning of a new ere the ere of the beast. Everyone has secrets. Everyone lies. Everyone cries. Everyone dies. 2 view points, Coal and Sapphire. Mature! All rights reserved! Thank you!

If only he told her by Cheeriomilk

TW: this story contains suicide, sh, sexual assault and abuse- please do not read if you are not okay with those! She felt like she was always alone, like she had no one. And she almost did. Her life was like a shit show, her mum was a crack head and was in a mental institution. Her dad- after finding out about her brother- was hardly ever there, and when he was, he was drunk. She lived her life on her own, doing her own shopping, her own cooking and had her own job. He had a lot of friends. But he still felt alone, they never really understood him, or his life. They were friends at least, but he would never call them close. He lived with his mother after his dad left him as a child. They had a big house- his mum worked as an assistant and was very highly paid. His mum did most of what he needed, but they didn't see each other much- she was too busy wrapped up in her job. He saw her everyday, walking down the school corridor, with her head down. His friends laughed at her and so he laughed too. Only to hide how he really felt. He loved her. And he didn't know how. But will it be too late when he finally decides to tell her? Please do not use this story for anything. You can not take credit for this, I have written it with my own ideas. Screen recording or copying is not permitted. Thank you

Make Me Perfect by OnceUponATime73

Your suicide? Oh please, daddy. That didn't change me. I'm only trying to please you, trying to be perfect. And trust me, I've achieved perfection. I ran my school. If there was a crown, I'd be wearing it. I had all the guys on top of me, all the insecure little nitwits wrapped tightly around my finger. We still have your money, so I'm rich, gorgeous, thanks to your wonderful features, my dear father, and I was popular. I was perfect beyond belief. Now you; your secret still horrifies me. Why did you take your life? Your family so dearly loved you. I will find out, just for you, and so that you will say that I'm perfect in every which way as you watch down on me. Or up at me, whatever side of your wonderful personality the Lord took. However, my father, there is this new kid. I can't seem to remember his name. He's the silent type, perfect prey for my friends and I. But he's different. In fact I have made a deal with him. He'll help me solve your mystery, daddy, on one condition; I change my ways. He's such a joke, a cute joke. Oh what must I be saying, he's absolutely insane. I don't need to change my ways, I'm perfect. If anything, I should be helping him. Oh I remember now, father. Aiden. Aiden is trying to perfect me. What a laugh, isn't it? Perfecting something that's already perfect.

Lost by livvydavis

Sometimes, I'm not always sure what to do. I feel like I'm always wrong, like I'm never good enough. I'm invisible and it's as if I don't exist. If I really didn't exist, I don't think anyone would care. I'm all alone in this great big world, I'm lost. Maddie has never been good enough for anyone. Her perfect sister, Megan, always manages to outshine her. Her father never pays attention to her, because he's always worried about Megan. Every Tuesday and Thursday, Maddie goes to group therapy, where she shares her feelings. Every week it's the same thing, until Maddie gets a new lab partner: Zach Williams, every girl's dream date. WARNING: I wrote this book when I was really, really young. It is very poorly written and has a TON of grammatical errors. I'm working on editing/rewriting this.

Life Lost and Found by akwillows

Madeline found the note in her locker. Neatly folded, it held a pair of razor blades and a set of instructions. "Just die, ugly girl. No one will miss you." She doesn't know who gave it to her. Or any of the others before it. But she knows one thing: they're right. No one will miss her. Her mother is dead, her dad is more a theory than a parental figure, and her friends are the stick figures she draws in her notebooks. So, when someone she barely knows invites her to the school graduation party, there's no reason for her to go. A girl like her at a party like that? Eating a bowl of live spiders would be a better idea. And yet, she accepts. She goes. She doesn't know what she expects to find there. She doesn't even know why she said yes. Out of desperation? Because she thinks she'll somehow make friends? Prove, somehow, that the razor note is wrong? Whatever her reasons, what she finds is a surprise. And not the one she wants. She's given one more note. And what's written inside this one will make her face the truth she's been hiding from for seven years. And the truth about Madeline Parker will either fix her, and finally make her worthy of being loved, or it will prove that the note with the razors is right. Or both. -- Complete and professionally edited. Also on sale (www.lifelostandfound.com) where 150% of all sales go to charity, including the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Dedicated to all of us who need a reason to keep going. Especially now. I hope it makes you laugh. And I hope it helps you realize you're not alone. (Warning -- Do not read this book if you: look amazing all or most of the time, never worry about what people think of you, have more friends than Estonia has people, or are allergic to the word "shenanigans". Especially that last one, because it's used once or twice and you may experience a reaction. Also, you should probably see a doctor about that. Secondary warning: the word "shenanigans" is used in this warning.)

Just A Thought by juayxx

Something tragic has happened. A 17 year old Valeri has to move to her dad's place. She spent all her life thinking he was dead. Her now dead mother told her that. Not knowing she has a twin brother she flies over the country and meets him there. She comes back into lives of people she once knew and loved. Not just her family. But someone else. A boy who took care of her when she was struggling. Her best friend. Valeri is dealing with addictions and when something at her new home happens, she sinks even lower. It might not end well for her. But she has friends now. Her kind brother, two funny friends and someone else she once knew... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heyy! This is my first book. 1. I want to make it clear that English is not my first language and there might be writing mistakes. 2. ⚠️BEFORE YOU START READING CHECK TWs BELOW⚠️ 3. I myself struggle with an addiction and I think writing this book will help me process everything. That's another reason why I'm doing it. 4. You're welcome to comment but leave if you're here to write hate comments. I don't care what you think. 5. If you're here just for smut this is not a book for you. There might be some scenes but not many. This story is about struggling, dealing and fighting with addictions. 6. I'll post a new chapter every few days. I have a lot of schoolwork but I'll try my best. ⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS: panic and anxiety attacks, self harm, sexual assault and rape, eating disorder, drinking and smoking, weed, pills, drug addiction, overdose, suicide attempt, depression, ptsd, swearing, mature content TROPES: -childhood best friend -friends to lovers -brother's best friend -who did this to you? -one bed trope I'LL PROBABLY ADD SOME MORE I hope you'll enjoy it!

Justice before Blood ~ A Criminal Minds FanFiction Series ~ COMPLETED by x_tacos_x

COMPLETED! BOOK 2 in process! EDITING IN PROCESS! "Reid! Look out!" I scream as I push him over and I replace his spot. I try to turn around but I felt the pressure enter my neck. It sends me sprawling and collapsing to the ground. "Carrie!" I hear Morgan and Reid yell in unison. Darkness surrounds me and the gunshots echo and scream pass me. Glass shatters beside me and I feel my legs being dragged across the ground and place my back against a side of a car. I open my eyes barely and glass shatters above me. I press my hand against my neck and pull it away. A red trail runs down my hand and I look up and see someone that look extremely familiar just a few seconds ago. My vision became blurry and hard to see. I start to become extremely tired. I felt a hand press against my neck and winces throughout my body. I lowly grunt under my breath as it escapes me from the filled oxygen. I slightly open my eyes and see Reid. "Hey, just keep your eyes on me." He pulls his hand away and looks at the-the red liquid substances. "We need a medic!" His voice quivers. His eyes meet mine and I smile weakly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm not what you call an average teenager. I graduate high-school at the age of 14 and college at 22 with an IQ of 176. My life or childhood was a devastating war between abuse and mental breakdown. I try to escape every time I could. Now, all that's payed off when I become the youngest FBI in the BAU Unit. My life is planned out and everything. Have my own apartment, car, and hopefully a job that I alway wanted. I'm only a new recruit. Draft... Maybe. But I never thought that's a battle until a serial killer runs through town.

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Slide 1 of 10

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ cover

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If only he told her cover

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Justice before Blood ~ A Criminal Minds FanFiction Series ~ COMPLETED cover

Capstone

Scrambled Senior, Sage Arland, is starting to realize that her remaining school days are numbered, and there's only a matter of time before she graduates and moves on from being a university art student. There's a lot of work to do before she can earn her degree, and if that wasn't overwhelming enough, she'll be facing obstacles that may jeopardize everything she's been working for. As graduation approaches, Sage comes face to face with choices that could drastically change the outcome of not only her final year at university, but derail the life she's pictured for herself. The pressure is on, and everyone around her feels it. In order to graduate with an art degree, every art major must pass the art capstone and spend their final year producing their best body of artwork to date. Sam, the head of the art department is responsible for nurturing the budding artists, but his approach, and his whole being, come to think of it, are the opposite of what Sage and her friends need to feel challenged and successful. When Sam ends up favoring Sage's artwork over her peers, the senior art major cohort starts to sniff out. And if a sketchy professor wasn't enough to throw off Sage's work, there's always roommate drama to come home to. Sage and Beck were last-minute placed to room with who they thought was a pretty normal peer: Lissa. Shortly after move in, the two girls find out that Lissa is attached at the hip to James, her erratic boyfriend. Boundaries are crossed, belongings are stolen, and the peace always goes unkept. Each day is one day closer to wrapping up the most unpredictable chapter of Sage's life so far.