Jupiter
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  • Reads 1
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  • Parts 1
  • Time <5 mins
Ongoing, First published Feb 18, 2020
Girls go to college to get more knowledge; boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.
Girls are dandy, made out of candy; boys are rotten, made out of cotton.
Girls drink Pepsi to get more sexy, boys drink rum to get more dumb.

Boys are stupid -- a phrase that third grade and college-aged girls can agree on.
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Valeria Cabot has been making her way through the dating scene at University of Washington and she's learned a few things. She hates when boys call too many times a day, she hates getting flowers, and she can't stand being alone.
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How Not To Befriend a Boy | original

1 part Complete

First, be an immature twelve-year-old. This is exactly as easy as it sounds. Second, meet a boy. Don't think about him, but you do. Third, be lonely. Being lonely is very important. If you're not lonely enough, you won't fall for the first person who shows the tiniest bit of kindness to you. ━━ ❈ ━━ In the end you're just two slightly lonely, slightly selfish people, not broken enough to warrant sympathy, but not whole enough to be functioning. You two are licking each other's wounds because no one else will. ━━ ❈ ━━ A hopeless highschool romance between two slightly lonely, slightly broken people who had nobody but each other. Oneshot. [2021]