DEH/BMC Mythical Beast AU

vam·pire
/ˈvamˌpī(ə)r/

noun

1. a corpse supposed, in European folklore, to leave its grave at night to drink the blood of the living by biting their necks with long pointed canine teeth.

MICHAEL MELL:
Well, it's not exactly what I'm experiencing. But, it's the closest yet. I guess...
...
Wait, I'm a vampire! Cool!

I S H O U L D K E E P T H I S T O M Y S E L F T H O U G H . . .

mer·maid
/ˈmərˌmād/

noun

1. a fictitious or mythical half-human sea creature with the head and trunk of a woman and the tail of a fish, conventionally depicted as beautiful and with long flowing golden hair.

ZOE MURPHY:
A mermaid? Is what I am?? I guess???
...
HOLY SHIT I'M A MERMAID? NOT. GOOD.

I S H O U L D N ' T T E L L A N Y O N E , R I G H T . . ?

were·wolf
/ˈwerˌwo͝olf/

noun

1. (in myth or fiction) a person who changes for periods of time into a wolf, typically when there is a full moon.

RICHARD GORANSKI:
This can't be real.
I mean, it says it right there, "(in myth or fiction)"!
I... what do I do with this!?!?

W E L L , S T E P O N E W O U L D B E K E E P Q U I E T . . .

shape·shift·er
/ˈSHāpˌSHiftər/

noun

1. (chiefly in fiction) a person or being with the ability to change their physical form at will.

JARED KLEINMAN:
Hol up, "(chiefly in fiction)"?
Da fuq that's supposed to mean?
Well, I guess I should be more concerned on figuring out how the fuck I'm a shapeshifter.

B U T T H E R E C O U L D B E M O R E T H A N J U S T M E . . .