reasons i hate myself.
- LECTURES 10
- Votes 0
- Chapitres 2
i am in a terrible place right now but i dont know , if i am even allowed to feel so bad in the first place.
this is just my self hate
Tous Droits Réservés
#380
imdone
Rejoignez la plus grande communauté de conteursObtiens des recommandations personnalisées d'histoires, enregistre tes préférées dans ta bibliothèque, commente et vote pour développer ta communauté.
Vous aimerez aussi
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionTerminé
Longing for you ✔️
I'm trying to keep my eyes open while hearing the noises of doctors and the beeps of machines. It's feeling like something is going away from me. I'm trying my best to keep my conscious. But second by second my strength is draining and pain is increasing into my head and whole body. But right now , I don't give damn to my own self. Anything could happen to me. I don't care. But nothing should happen to my child ... he should survive and live his life unlike his mother "who never got anything in her life. First I couldn't get the love from my parents "which i deserved.." then i got the husband "who don't give shit to my existence. My whole life went trying to get the piece of love "which I at least deserved once in my life . But no one dared to give to me and now god is snatching my last happiness as well. Which is my child. When I'd got to know about him. A ray of hope I'd felt in my life. I thought at least now I'll able to get someone whom I could call mine. But seems like god couldn't see me stay happy and now I'm laying on death bed holding my womb pleading to god that he should keep my baby safe. But I guess he can't see me happy and soon I heard doctor's faint voice " who announced baby is no more. We lost the baby. He whispered looking at other doctors being dejected. Tears made their ways from my twitching eyes..' and I felt like to scream and cry bitterly. All the emotions are gushing towards my brain and heart. but being numb on the bed made me so helpless that I can't even cry. After battling I couldn't hold my sanity and fell unconscious.Terminé
It just felt right because It was unnecessary drama.
Well, this is a journal, so you found it. Can I say Happy reading into my life? The life of a kid who hates love. This is a love story, darling. Well, I don't know about you but I hate school, I have been told it is a place to mingle with good souls and create moments to cherish and to get yourself educated. It is a place for youth to strive and bloom into respected beings. It is a sanctuary of sanity. If you ask me, school is the definition of drama as it is the birthplace of drama. Youth is the ambassador of chaos, you can either make the chaos good or bad, worth the pleasure or the very cause of death. Life is too short to live with a sane mind, there is no harm in breaking rules to live life the way you want as long as it makes you good. As with any classical young adult romance, this book is filled with horny, hormone imbalance, chemical imbalances, not loved and very well-loved, mature(childish), caring(cruel ) teenagers. All of this drama only started because of one guy, Mark Austin Jawa, the golden boy of Winter Abyss High School. Maybe Mark had nothing to do at all.It was just about 4 kids learning to live Did I forget to say, there are inhuman beings as well in this story? There are romance, drama, revenge, supernatural, chaos, lust, betrayal, hate, friendship, mental health issues, Johnny Christopher Depp || fan and hater, selenophile, diversity of nations and their skins and of course, there are gays. There are also LGBTQ ++ in this pure chaos-filling story of 21st-century humans and the Novel Coronavirus 2019 Disease better known as Covid 19. Oh, I almost forgot, this tale is even more screw up than the famous love story of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.Terminé
Suffer
Everyone suffers no matter how much we think we're alone, there maybe someone out there more disconnected from the rest of the world. If you had the power to help the other and didn't take it does that make you a bad person? If you had one chance to correct the world would you take it? If you were given one power what would it be? No matter what choice you make it will come haunting back to you. The good the bad there's a fine line between what people perceive as good and bad it's up to you to decide that.Terminé
Mentally Broken
(Warning: If you don't feel comfortable with cutting, suicide, etc. I wouldn't read this story) How did I end up here, in a mental hospital? I'm not a physco, right? After all, I'm just a suicidal girl who tried to kill herself by pointing a gun to her head. I don't belong here in this hellhole. I don't want a roommate who's crazy in the head. His name is Justin Bieber, by the way. He doesn't belong here either. Justin's actually pretty normal. We're just victims of society who can't help ourselves. We're mentally fucked up. We're mentally trapped. We're Mentally Broken.Terminé
Starving For Help
"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.Terminé
Noah (Obsessions in Overdrive #1)
I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024Terminé
Not Sick But Not Well.
This day wasn't an exception. I cried over and over until I could no longer, I wiped my tears and took the packages in my arms after opening the door. In the house, nothing new. They were still talking, so I had time to drop off the packages, and without even opening one, I headed to the showers, cleaned my face with water, and went to my room. This is roughly how my days as a child went. I know that it cannot be described as an ideal childhood, but it would certainly be the most beautiful period of my life. Despite family conflicts, school conflicts, loneliness, and fear, I was happy. I was happy because they were all there, happy because they always remained, despite my faults, and happy. After all, I knew that I had not yet experienced the worst. Happy because I knew, that sooner or later everything would end. So yes, I was as cowardly and useless as they all claimed and even more naive than they would have believed, but this vision that I had at that age kept me going. Although the truth was hard to accept, I was given no choice. So I accepted life as it came; I accepted myself and my truth, my weaknesses, and the fact that I had to get used to the idea that I would always be the first actor to die in films.
Confessions of A School Slut: A Story about Slut-Shaming ✓
• Winner of Wattpad Campus Superwriters Awards 2020 • "Truth doesn't always come out." Have you ever wondered if all the things about high school that you think are facts are actually lies? Have you ever fantasized how high school would be for you? Being the Queen Bee, having a two or maybe three friends who would stick by you in all of your thick and thin, the whole school would respect you and then there would be your perfect boyfriend who would be the captain of the football or maybe basketball team (mostly football, though)? Well, let me tell you one thing. This doesn't even come close to describing a high school life. At least not a high school life in Riviera High. Sure, there will always be a Queen Bee, but she will never be you. She will never have friends, she will have minions. And if you ever even look at someone from the football team, she would make sure that your life is hell. Take it from me, someone who recently graduated high school that this is definitely *not* what high school is like. Still dubious about your fantasies and the reality? Come, I have a few confessions to make that might change your whole idea about high school. TEN INCIDENTS, TEN ACCUSATIONS, TEN EXPLANATIONS NOTE: This book deals with topics like slut shaming and self harm. (Status : Completed) (Highest Ranking: #9) (Word Count: ~50,000)Terminé
Immortal (boy x boy)
My life has always been terrible. I was always bullied at school. I don't know why, it just seemed that people didn't like my presence. The guys would beat me up and I'd get in trouble when I defended myself, for the teachers never saw what they did. The girls would trick me, making me think they liked me and laughing at me because of it. I was always in the principle's office for one reason or another, but I wasn't a bad student. I actually got really good grades. To make matters worse, my mother wanted nothing to do with me. She'd lock me in the basement, sometimes for days, with no food or warmth. My father would then sneak down and beat me before raping me. So, naturally, I wanted to die. But, for some reason, I can't die. No matter what I do, I can't stay dead. The thing I want more than anything is far out of my reach. Why can't I just die? Warning: mention of rape, suicide, and abuse. Also, this is a boy's love story.Terminé
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression
Plus d’InfosDirectives du Contenu