Devil in Lavender
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- Parts 2
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If someone asked me what the most painful thing a person could say to you is, my answer would be when they're unsure if I'm telling the truth. That there's no hint on their faces that they believe you. Their looks doubt you with their words, stabbing you with, "Isn't it really true?" And you're there, standing, unable to find any words to come out of your mouth, being cut into pieces by the knives in their hands. After all these years? After all these years, they still don't trust me? That's all the dream I had. Why is it so hard to get? And the next thing you'll do is to walk out there. Running from the knives that are pointed at you, as if they didn't cut you deep already. Twenty-five years, fuck. And after those years, I haven't learned my lessons. I let them ruin me. Believing that one day, they'll let me in. Oo nga pala, ba't ba ako umasa sa bagay na alam ko naman umpisa pa lang na talo na ako? Tangina. Ang kapal ng mukha ko. Then the next thing I knew, I married someone who'll be my exit in this life.
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If someone asked me what the most painful thing a person could say to you is, my answer would be when they're unsure if I'm telling the truth. That there's no hint on their faces that they believe you. Their looks doubt you with their words, stabbing you with, "Isn't it really true?" And you're there, standing, unable to find any words to come out of your mouth, being cut into pieces by the knives in their hands. After all these years? After all these years, they still don't trust me? That's all the dream I had. Why is it so hard to get? And the next thing you'll do is to walk out there. Running from the knives that are pointed at you, as if they didn't cut you deep already. Twenty-five years, fuck. And after those years, I haven't learned my lessons. I let them ruin me. Believing that one day, they'll let me in. Oo nga pala, ba't ba ako umasa sa bagay na alam ko naman umpisa pa lang na talo na ako? Tangina. Ang kapal ng mukha ko. Then the next thing I knew, I married someone who'll be my exit in this life.
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