"What's wrong with me?! What's so fucking wrong with me that made me deserve this?!" I yelled, a small sob making it's way past my lips.
"Oh my sweet Morella, everything is wrong with you. You're nothing more than a placeholder, a bitch put here just to please others. You're nothing Morella, nothing." His cold voice causing me to flinch, tears filling my eyes as his glare hardens.
"You don't mean that..Not really.." I knew he meant it, he knew he meant it. It was a pathetic last ditch attempt to grasp at something real, something to make all this pain worth it. His eyes filled with anger, anger directed at me.
"Trust me, I mean every last word. It's sad how pathetic you are, how desperate you are for love, too bad you'll never get it. No one could possibly love someone as broken as you, my sweet Morella. You'll never be saved, just like you'll never be loved." The venom in his voice hurt, but what hurt more were the words directed at me, directed at everything I was told, by almost everyone I knew. I knew I couldn't be loved. Deep down I always knew. I was broken, and like shattered glass, I couldn't be fixed. So like glass, I hurt everyone who tried to pick me up, until I was left with no one. After all, no one wants a shattered window, just like no one wants a shattered heart.
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She had killed herself. Leaving her bullies to reflect on the damage they'd caused, her friends to wonder what signs they missed, her parents to wonder where they went wrong. Nothing they did pushed her over, they weren't the real reason for her death. Her story is forever left untold, hidden in the journal entries neatly compiled on her bookshelf. Everyone's moved on, accepted what has become of her. But what about her brother who was too young to understand what had happened. What would he thing when he finds her journals and thus, the reason she killed herself. When he finally sees the horrid life she hid from everyone.
"You're hurting me..." I whispered. But his grip only got tighter as the pain got even more crucial. "It's what you get for stopping the party yesterday," Liam said. "I needed to," I murmured under my breath in the hopes that he would hear the weakness in my voice and let me go.
But at last, it was only hoped that made me think that way. He didn't let go; he wouldn't let go until he taught a firm lesson. No matter how many times I ask and plead for forgiveness, he is never going to go until he is satisfied.
"Were you jealous that you weren't invited? Is that why you had to sabotage the whole thing, uh?" he bit his teeth, his voice getting angrier and his hold on me crushing.
"Ow.. please...," I said tears rolling down my eyes. He didn't say anything this time just watched me cry, and I could basically see the smirk forming on his lips in slow motion. This is what he wanted for me as if it was never enough for him to see me like this. I waited for him to say something anything, but instead, he let me go aggressively and pushing past me hard, causing me to lose balance and fall to the marble floor.
I looked up to see everyone watching me struggle to get up. No one came to help, and I didn't expect them to they watched and laughed and even filmed, but no one came to my rescue.
-
The fake smiles, laughter, friends I am getting sick of it all. I always felt like I didn't belong anywhere with him gone. It was even worse. It was pathetic that I thought it's okay I will get through this, but I am slipping away falling slowly. The only reason I am still holding on is for my family.
But he hurts me, bullies me, breaks me in ways I can't even describe. He has become the worst nightmare, and I can't wake up from it. There is no helping me from his sick and twisted games.
After all, he believes I was the reason for the death of his best friend.
But I have to hold on only one more year till I don't have to see him anymore. I need to survive as an outcast...