Losing Faith

Losing Faith

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WpMetadataReadДля взрослыхВ процессе11m
WpMetadataNoticeLast published втр, июл. 20, 2021
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PLEASE READ BEFORE OPENING. Personal story. WARNING: includes but is not limited to: rape, molestation, parental abuse, and self harm. An English professor at a college I attended became one of my most adored friends. I would show up early to class simply to avoid being home. Eventually, we began discussing our life stories. After I shared my story, he looked at me with shock and said "I don't understand how you of all people are not strung out on drugs after everything." He tried multiple times to convince me that I should share my story. If I gave any advice to give, do not keep quiet. I stayed silent and to this day only five people know what has happened. Seek help amongst trusted friends and family, or visit a councilor. I didn't speak up because I didn't want to ruin anyone else's life. "They were young and didn't know better," I would tell myself. That's a lie that I tricked myself into believing. If I could go back and scream at the top of my lungs, I would. Don't make my mistake.
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They say what's in the past keep it in the past but I wanted to know all about my past. It was things that I didn't know and that I wanted and needed to know! But my life turned upside down when my past is exactly what I should have left alone. Now if you ask me how it all began, I don't exactly remember but I know it started when I moved in with my grandma who I haven't met in all my twenty years of living. I have been in and out of foster homes since I can remember, living with families I knew nothing about. Being the outcast and them constantly asking me what's wrong because I simply did not speak. The only thing that kept me sane was my good grades throughout school. I got the satisfaction of doing the one thing that people kept telling me over and over I couldn't do. I stayed to myself and graduated high school with honors, getting a full-ride scholarship to any college of my choice. Of course, by having this accomplishment, it didn't make it any easier for me between my foster families. To them, I became the girl who was better than them. But I didn't care because when I turned twenty I finally got to start making my own choices. This is where I wonder if the first choice I made was the right one. The first choice I made was to go live off-campus with my grandmother during my first semester in college. I ask myself how could I be so stupid? But you will see just how stupid I was. Or was I?

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