I'M LOST
  • Reads 118
  • Votes 1
  • Parts 2
  • Reads 118
  • Votes 1
  • Parts 2
Ongoing, First published Aug 16, 2014
.....

"He's back" she cut me off using her serious tone. She's examining my face, my reaction, I bet she's waiting for my speech.

Di ko tinuloy pa ang sasabihin ko, ni-hindi ko na nga alam kung ano o tungkol saan ba yung sinasabi ko. That two words made me drown in my thoughts.

Words are processing.. 


He's.. back?



what!! holy shit!



why?


how? 


when? where the hell is he now?


Ang kapal naman ng lintik na yun? He still have the guts to show up?


Hindi ko maipaliwanag yung letseng nararamdaman ko. Nanlalambot ako parang matutunaw ako, gusto kong bawiin niya ang sinabi niya at sabihin na joke lang yon. Na hindi iyon ang dahilan kung bakit niya ako pinapunta dito.
Putangina. Putangina talaga. Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko, parang wala akong mahigop na oxygen.  Nagkakagulo yung makina ng utak ko, hindi ko alam kong anong una kong iisipin. Questions are popping inside my damn head. I can't process it. 


Bakit siya nandito? Bakit kailangan niyang bumalik?

Wtf Jack?! You're over him! You said so. Now prove it yourself!! but..



What if the feelings I trashed, will soon resurface again?



That can't be happen. I should not let that happen.



Anything can happen. 



Can I just punch myself and die?



Now I'm lost.


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Engineering students Pfifer and Ivan know that what they have is something special. Without a proper label between them plus an ugly twist of fate, can they manage to be together in the end--or will they remain as each other's TOTGA and nothing more? *** May feelings na laging nandiyan, nakaabang kung kailan magpapapansin. Nakaabang kung kailan ako titisurin sa mga pamilyar na kanta, lugar, at salita. Magpapaalala sa isang mukha na hindi ko naman gano'n kakabisado pero pamilyar. Magpapaalala sa mga dating pakiramdam. Malalaman mo raw kung sino ang The One That Got Away mo kapag narinig mo 'yong salita at nakaalala ka ng iisang tao lang; nakatisod ka ng mga dating pakiramdam; nangulila ka sa mga nakaraang saya; nakaalala ka ng mga pamilyar na sakit. Sabi, time heals wounds at distance makes one forget. Bakit parang hindi naman effective? Bitbit ko pa rin lahat ng what if. Hindi pa rin ako makatakas sa maraming sana. Ako ba ang bumitiw o siya? Tapos na ba kami talaga? Ang sarap magtanong kaso...wala nga palang kami noon. Disclaimer: This story is written in Taglish.