If Only...
  • Reads 20,164
  • Votes 715
  • Parts 82
  • Time 20h 11m
  • Reads 20,164
  • Votes 715
  • Parts 82
  • Time 20h 11m
Complete, First published Aug 17, 2014
There I was, out of breath, on top of a tree in the woods in the middle of the night on my 18th birthday, screaming my throat out, when he took my hand and looked into my eyes.
  
  "You are the butterflies in my belly as I scream." I frowned as he guided my hand onto his belly, but listened.
  "You are the beats of my heart as I stand ten feet off the ground
  You are my lack of breath; and my precious breath
  You are the wind in my hair
  You are the blood in my veins
  You are the thrill in my limbs." My heart started to beat faster as he guided my hand over his own. His eyes pinioned me in place, and I was falling into them. 
  "You are the cold on my skin
  You are the warmth in my belly
  You are the moonshine in my eyes
  You are the smell of August and of life
  You are the touch of night-beautiful and mysterious
  You are the satisfaction in my soul
  You are the fear in my mind 
  And the love in my heart." 
  
  My hand ended right above his beating heart, and with tears in my eyes, I knew. 
  
  This is home.
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,,Shawn. Hi! I didn't knew you opened a praxis." ,,I didn't knew you had a baby." He said and pointed at the baby stroller. My smile immediately went away and I said: ,,I don't... She's my sister's." ,,Oh.. I'm sorry I prejudiced. Can I see her?" He asked and stood up from his chair and I nodded at him. ,,Of course." ,,She's so beautiful! You know she looks a little bit like you." He said and I giggled a little. ,,I didn't noticed that." I said and stroke her cheek with my index finger. ,,You babysit your sister's baby while you need to go to an interview? Maybe you deserve an award for best sister." He said and I started laughing lightly. Shawn always used to make me laugh. We lost contact as he graduated, but it was so good to see him again. We were really good friends in college. ,,I don't babysit her...it's a longer story..." I said and gave him a sad smile.