Ocean Tides And Mirror Minds
  • Reads 1,954
  • Votes 177
  • Parts 22
  • Time 3h 45m
  • Reads 1,954
  • Votes 177
  • Parts 22
  • Time 3h 45m
Ongoing, First published Mar 17, 2020
Mature
In silence he suffers with nothing but himself. Alone he is distant. Only one breaks down when it gets too much. Like the ebbs and waves of the great seas they constantly crash onto the sharp black rocks at the bottom or under a cliff, just like him-- from youth to old to youth, and then nothing but a timeless being. Like the rose petals, like the moon, like the darkness, like the night: he is said to be so lonesome but also never, sharp but gentle with delicate hands, like the moon he shines lowly and dimly from both highs and lows. Like the darkness, there was once light that shone from it.
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The other only watches silently and seethes in hatred and envy. The second other only watches with unmoving interest, a silenced racing heart lays in a deep, deep cave under the sea-- like a static clock, with a silent Racing Heart in a deep sea cave.
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Depressive Realism, they say, but he who lost himself will only wander in their shadow, or be lost at black waters in the middle of the ocean-- he was wise, but never wise about himself, his shadow would banter endlessly in his mind and the shadows under him would coil and0 flit. He brings darkness with his very presence, and drag the veil of midnight from his empty-crowned head, while silence will only be the one to accompany him in his stead.
.
.
.
Or so he thought.
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***READ 'NUMB' FIRST (ON MY PROFILE)*** Damn it Todoroki What the fuck did you do? Why the fuck did you do this to me? Why the fuck didn't you come back? You knew I never meant to hurt you I know You know that And yet You haven't come back It's been nearly a week I can't I can't handle this My intentions at the start were to help you And then part ways with you To focus on my career But I got attached And now I never want you to leave "I knew this would happen." I muttered angrily, grunting in pain as I kept punching. "I knew as soon as you got better." My eyes teared up a bit, but I convinced myself it was anger. "You wouldn't need me anymore." I said through grinding teeth. "And now you don't need me anymore." I hit it again, and a sharp, burning pain shot up my arm. I stumbled back and yelled in pain. I sat on the ground and stared at the floor, crying and grinding my teeth. You always hated when I'd push myself too much And even after everything No matter how hard I try I'm still a failure I always fail in the end I always fall short It's never enough Nothing I ever do Is enough to come out on top It used to be easy I was just naturally good Comfortable at the top And now I'm struggling just to stay in the running I stood up and walked to the locker room, slamming the door open and closed. I stood in front of the mirror with my hands on both sides of the sink, staring at my reflection. I was a mess. My eyes were red from my tears and my expression was exhausted and distressed. My face was tear-stained and I was light headed. Just completely out of it. I had bags under my eyes from stress filled days and sleepless nights, an obvious lack of rest. No wonder Aizawa confronted me I look like hell I feel like hell Fuck This is hell
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"You know, you weren't supposed to see them." He dropped my arm. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" He grabbed my other arm, exposing those cuts as well. Bloody bandages fell to the ground and his expression changed. "Is this supposed to make me feel better?!?!?!" He held both my arms in front of me. I could feel his hands shaking. I could hear his voice breaking. He was yelling, but I knew it was a facade. He wasn't angry. He was worried. He was sad. He just doesn't know how to express anything else. "It's fine. Don't worry. I'm okay." He dropped my arms and stepped back a bit, looking down for a few seconds. He yelled in frustration, pushing me to the ground suddenly. I avoided eye contact. "In what world?! What part of your fucked up mind is telling you that this is okay?!?! Because let me fucking tell you right now, if you ever fucking do this to yourself again I swear...." He punched the wall and yelled in frustration, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He paused for a few seconds before speaking again. "Get up." He held out his hand and I took it, standing up shakily. He grabbed my arms again, staring at them sadly. "Again? Why would you hide them again? Why this again?" He pled desperately. "You two." A different voice from across the hallway said, making us both jump a bit. Aizawa walked over to us, looking down at my cuts with slightly widened eyes, then back up at me with a concerned expression. "I need to talk to both of you."
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***READ 'NUMB' FIRST (ON MY PROFILE)*** Damn it Todoroki What the fuck did you do? Why the fuck did you do this to me? Why the fuck didn't you come back? You knew I never meant to hurt you I know You know that And yet You haven't come back It's been nearly a week I can't I can't handle this My intentions at the start were to help you And then part ways with you To focus on my career But I got attached And now I never want you to leave "I knew this would happen." I muttered angrily, grunting in pain as I kept punching. "I knew as soon as you got better." My eyes teared up a bit, but I convinced myself it was anger. "You wouldn't need me anymore." I said through grinding teeth. "And now you don't need me anymore." I hit it again, and a sharp, burning pain shot up my arm. I stumbled back and yelled in pain. I sat on the ground and stared at the floor, crying and grinding my teeth. You always hated when I'd push myself too much And even after everything No matter how hard I try I'm still a failure I always fail in the end I always fall short It's never enough Nothing I ever do Is enough to come out on top It used to be easy I was just naturally good Comfortable at the top And now I'm struggling just to stay in the running I stood up and walked to the locker room, slamming the door open and closed. I stood in front of the mirror with my hands on both sides of the sink, staring at my reflection. I was a mess. My eyes were red from my tears and my expression was exhausted and distressed. My face was tear-stained and I was light headed. Just completely out of it. I had bags under my eyes from stress filled days and sleepless nights, an obvious lack of rest. No wonder Aizawa confronted me I look like hell I feel like hell Fuck This is hell