Creepy Uncle Sam's Gastronomy Guide For The Apocalypse - Sam Camp - Wattpad

Creepy Uncle Sam's Gastronomy Guide For The Apocalypse

Reads 7,736
Votes 679
Parts 31
Time 4h 27m

Reads 7,736
Votes 679
Parts 31
Time 4h 27m

apocalypse chef comedy cooking coronavirus death food gastronomy guide hell humor manual nonfiction pandemic recipes

A no-nonsense, fairly silly, guide to cooking during the apocalypse. 

This guide will teach you how to cook, how to make your own recipes, basic fundamentals of cuisine, why brown is the tastiest color, how to prevent your pee from attracting marauders, and how to gain the trust of your local metal gang with some heartfelt homemade chocolate cookies. 

There is no reason why the apocalypse can't be tasty!All Rights Reserved

apocalypse chef comedy cooking coronavirus death food gastronomy guide hell humor manual nonfiction pandemic recipes

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31 parts

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Life After Death by WhoreKnee4Dilfss

If you told me when I was 14 that the last birthday party I was going to have was at a local pizza hut, I never would have believed you. Looking back, before the infection ripped apart mine and billions of others families, I probably should have acknowledged those moments I shared with friends and family with more love than I did. Now everyday was a mission just to be left breathing at the end of it. Not knowing why I was the only one in my family to be left with the torment of survival. I had to rely on any prayers left in me that I wouldn't become food for the dead.

Dangerous People [COMPLETED] by iamfatimavz

They said that "Changing is part of LIFE.", at least that's what the CSD (Change and Save Department) used to say. They thought they created a "cure". A cure to save many people's lives from sickness, cancer, and all. Unfortunately... They were wrong. It was fine at first... However, their first test subject? It was for no good. Instead of a cure, they made a "virus". The virus is incurable for now. Many people protested against the CSD and the government. It changed.. but it was never saved... They said that once they bit you, in an hour the virus will spread throughout your body and kill you, then you'll be alive but not like you used to be. There are many survivors, but there are also many who have been turned into monsters. They call these monsters, "zombies". The CSD promised that they'll find a cure, but much-lost hope, lost hope for being alive, lost hope for survival. A 17 yrs. the old girl was in between that. Everything might sound and look horrible but she never lost hope for survival. "I'm running out of food.." she kept on talking to herself since there was no one but her. She saw a grocery store nearby so she checked it out if there were food, and fortunately, there was. She stuffed the food in her bag until she heard something. "Is someone there?" She asked, she hoped it wasn't what she thought about but there it was. The zombie's legs were twisted so it will have a hard time catching her. However, she never encountered that close. She stuffed the last food in her bag and ran. She ran to the girl's restroom. When she opened the door there were zombies! It almost caught her but fortunately, nothing happened to her. She ran back but there were more! "Please don't say this is how I'm going to die!" She said to herself. Is she going to die? Who will she meet? Will they survive this cruel world?? First published: May 30, 2019

Don't Turn by its_me_veronica

JEFF. So we'd have cactus zombies chasing us?!?!?! JAMES. What in the FUCK is a cactus zombie? JEFF. A zombie... with freaking cacti stuck in it! BECCA. Best. Hug. Ever. JEFF. Oh goodness, could you imagine... two cacti zombies having a baby? JAMES. Yeah, I don't think zombies work like that... WARNINGS: The only warning there is really is that there is some mature language but nothing above PG-13 movie ratings. Although there is a chance of permanent cringe face from some of the scenes that you will read, so b e w a r e This script is about a group of teenagers who are thrown into a zombie apocalypse and are struggling to make it out alive. It is meant to be a comedy and a lot of things don't really make sense but bear with me, we will make it out alive. Well, maybe not all of us, but we don't talk about that- This is a script that I wrote in literally 3 days about a year ago. I have written more scripts recently that are more improved than this one, but I think this script is super funny and needs to be shared with the world. Rules for Surviving: 1) Food cause nom noms me hongry 2) Buddy system, because if I've learned anything from 80s horror movies it's don't go off alone because there is an 87% chance you will not make it back (statistics researched and studied by yours truly) 3) Stan Jeff, I don't think there's more to say 4) Stay away from the cactus zombies, especially the super horny ones 5) I don't mean to be t h a t person but please, please, please don't copy my work. If you want to use it for something you can reach out to me and I will discuss it with you but please don't plagiarize it, thank you.

The second birth of Humanity by karamela15

Lockdown. Quarantine. Pandemic. Precautions. Going insane. That's our lives in 2020. Because of the virus. But how would it be if we never find the vaccine? How woud we adapt to that? How would we live? As I already said on my other stories, English isn't my native language so I apologize for the mistakes you'll probably find. Hope you'll enjoy it! :) •Officially published and finished on April 17th, 2020• All rights reserved, no copyright will be tolerated.

BEWARE OF COW by GreasyLamp

A group of stereotypical teens must escape from what appears to be a demonic cow.

The Delta Disaster by -Cardinal007-

A sequel to my other corona piece so read that first. A new variant of the virus has hit the U.S and schools have closed down for the winter. Once again Cardinal is hanging out at the West Furniture Store but something is amiss... Join Jack, Parker, and Cardinal as they figure out what's been happening and how to get Cardinal's friends back in this OVER 10K WORD sequel. Rankings (if that matters): #28 in covid-19 #41 in humorous #28 in coronavirus #54 in pandemic #4 in howdotagswork (sorta figured out how but not really) I literally made this because I was bored and thought why not.

The After by LunaTheDruid

It's a story about my friends and I, and if we lived in an apocalypse, struggling to survive every day for food and water... or so, this is my first story on wattpad because I mostly use Quotev because I'm and admin on there.. so if you wish to hate one me, go ahead, but I won't tolerate it.

Fool's Apocalypse by Bptikerpae

Like the start of any apocalyptic tale - an asteroid was headed towards Earth - but did it actually reach its mark? That's irrelevant, the world's gone potty anyway. You're either a murdering maneater, human cattle in a meat market with your flesh on the menu, or privileged enough to avoid such terrors and thus are naturally exploiting those less fortunate than yourself. Either way, there's bound to be some fun in here... surely? Also, there might just be a couple of robots in here too - why not, 'ey? Fancy a look to see how I fare in a life like this? Then take a read, why don't you? If you'd rather pass on it, well... sod you! xxxx

Alpha Female's Mate by chellelove10

I have seen and heard a lot of weird things in my life. Things that will make you wonder what the heck is going on in this world but imagine a woman well not just any woman but a goddess calling you mate and then turning into this huge ass werewolf. Now that! beats everything. Obviously there are so many ways to which your brain can process this. 1.There is the screaming and running for your life which should be the better choice. 2. Face it like a man and pray that your ass doesn't get mauled. 3. Faint because things like this don't exist. I'm guessing you know what I did, yep that's right I fainted and that was just the beginning.

Dead inside (Sanderssides human au) by lizbliz123

***complete*** It's a zombie apocalypse!! Roman and Remus are twins, it's their sixteenth birthday and when they were about to start celebrating thats when disaster strikes. The two weren't home to witness the tragedy of losing both their parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles who were attending their party because they were in their tree house in the woods. They come back for some cake, and as soon as they realized what was happening they grabbed as much as they could of their belongings and booked it deeper into the woods searching for shelter from the zombies. How it all happened ? The two never figured that out. But the world went to shit, and now they need to figure out how to survive.

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Slide 1 of 10

Life After Death cover

Dangerous People [COMPLETED] cover

Don't Turn cover

The second birth of Humanity cover

BEWARE OF COW cover

The Delta Disaster cover

The After cover

Fool's Apocalypse cover

Alpha Female's Mate cover

Dead inside (Sanderssides human au) cover

Life After Death

If you told me when I was 14 that the last birthday party I was going to have was at a local pizza hut, I never would have believed you. Looking back, before the infection ripped apart mine and billions of others families, I probably should have acknowledged those moments I shared with friends and family with more love than I did. Now everyday was a mission just to be left breathing at the end of it. Not knowing why I was the only one in my family to be left with the torment of survival. I had to rely on any prayers left in me that I wouldn't become food for the dead.