100 Reasons To Wish You A Birthday

Please, I beg you. Before you block me (I know you're going to, but just listen for a sec) I wanted to tell you Happy Birthday. It'd be pretty crappy of me to not wish you a happy birthday when you wished and sung one to me. But I'm going to go all out, to make it up to you because I was so goddamn rude to you at the end of our friendship. Anyway, I'm going to write 100-well-thought-out reasons why I should wish you a happy birthday, kinda like in 5th grade for recess detention how they used to make us write the rules 100 times or whatever. But yeah, please at least give it a shot, you can block me right after, but I'm writing this over a course of a week, so it's kinda taking me a lot of time and effort. But that's it, you can read on now. Love you 3000 (planet.ly) -Ex Phineas