just thoughts and awful poetry

just thoughts and awful poetry

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Fri, May 15, 2020
i'm back after not using wattpad in forever. i hope i can be better this time if you're reading this, you're probably doing pretty bad. i'm sorry for that and i hope you can get better soon, even if it's really hard i don't want to trigger anyone. i'm just writing my thoughts and emotions here. if you don't want to know anything about them, please don't read this 'book' and if you decide to read anyways, please enjoy but not too much
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thebigsad
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Change to disclaimer: I censored their name because they were getting death threats. THIS BOOK IS COMPLETE In my younger years, I accepted toxic manipulation and emotional abuse as normal and a sign of love. I've dealt with lying and manipulation all my life but never classified it as wrong since it all came from someone I loved: my father. I never fought back because I was raised to put trust in him because we were kin. A decade later, I come across Wattpad with a warm and loving community, and through mutual friends meet THEM. We then start dating on and off and then finally break up. Before we do break-up, they made me vow to never tell anyone what I had gone through and discovered about them. I said yes without hesitation because I was still madly in love with them and stupidly loyal; but as two years pass I realize I promised to not tell anyone about their true self so they could continue to do what they did to me and to silence me because they knew I still had feelings for them and was formidably loyal. I became damage control so they could continuously drag in new weak-minded people like me and make them go through the same pain and groom them to shower them with attention every second of the day and when they didn't; they made them feel as if they were wrong. They made their lovers feel like they were the bad guy and insignificant at the same time. In Present day, this still haunts me to the point I only get a few hours of sleep. My ex isn't here now and I feel I must share not only as a way to warn readers of people like them and how his definition of love is actually far from the truth, but as way of closure for myself.

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