Broken Bird (My Mental Health Journal)

Broken Bird (My Mental Health Journal)

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This is more of a personal diary that I wrote during a very dark phase of my life. I always had difficulty experssing my feelings. No one could understand what I was going through, due to that I felt very lonely and misunderstood so, I decided to express my feelings through my writing. This is a depressing book but it will take a positive turn. It is not meant to garner sympathy but to let anyone know who is going through the same phase or has similar experiences, You are not alone. Bad days won't last forever so, hang in there. Don't lose hope. You will be okay. In this I've personified mental disoders as monsters to explain my experience in better detail and also the journey to my recovery. For context, these writings are from 2017. I am okay now. Warning :- Contains topics like depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts.
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It was October 2023, and my now-ex-fiance had moved out of our trailer for good. I decided to end our relationship and thought I had emotionally moved on from them. I was wrong-dead wrong. What followed them moving out was something I could not have ever thought to experience. I began to experience extreme mood swings, controlling behavior, self-esteem issues, and a new-found addiction to alcohol. This was just the tip of the iceberg, as I was constantly flirting with suicide on a daily basis. I could not begin to even tell you about how I went through an emo phase, a "man hoe" phase, and multiple other phases as well due to my deteriorating mental health. I began to document my everyday life after our split through two separate journals over a twelve-month span. This is the true tale of how a breakup brought me to the realization that I was an abuser and that I became the same monster that I swore not to become as a kid. This is how trauma ruined my life, and how it will ruin yours too.

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