When Strength Cries

Sometimes I just want to walk outside in the middle of a drive by and "accidentally" get shot in the head. That way all the "laziness, stupidity, misery, and obesity" ends without me going to hell for self harm. I feel like I was never enough to fill my mom's expectations. I cant be successful like my sister, or on the verge of fame like my brother, I'm just here. Truthfully I don't even know why I'm here. All I know is that a man saved my life before it started.