Lockdown Diary of an emotionally unstable mess
- Reads 137
- Votes 31
- Parts 12
Ongoing11m
Last published Mon, Sep 13, 2021
It's been about a month that we're all stuck at home.
Some people doing better than others.
I think I'm starting to lose track of time, and being alone with myself isn't doing me any good.
So I decided to write this.
To stay sane, and remember this moment of my life after all this will be over.
But it seems that we're not going anywhere, anytime soon...
~~~
Hey there !
Welcome inside the mind of an emotionally unstable mess that is me. But warning, It's really dark and messed up in here !
You surely don't really care what I'm thinking or what I'm doing, but give it a try. This diary was at the beginning a assignment for my English class, but a found it well written and quite funny that I decided to share it here.
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#32
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It just felt right because It was unnecessary drama.
Well, this is a journal, so you found it. Can I say Happy reading into my life? The life of a kid who hates love. This is a love story, darling. Well, I don't know about you but I hate school, I have been told it is a place to mingle with good souls and create moments to cherish and to get yourself educated. It is a place for youth to strive and bloom into respected beings. It is a sanctuary of sanity. If you ask me, school is the definition of drama as it is the birthplace of drama. Youth is the ambassador of chaos, you can either make the chaos good or bad, worth the pleasure or the very cause of death. Life is too short to live with a sane mind, there is no harm in breaking rules to live life the way you want as long as it makes you good. As with any classical young adult romance, this book is filled with horny, hormone imbalance, chemical imbalances, not loved and very well-loved, mature(childish), caring(cruel ) teenagers. All of this drama only started because of one guy, Mark Austin Jawa, the golden boy of Winter Abyss High School. Maybe Mark had nothing to do at all.It was just about 4 kids learning to live Did I forget to say, there are inhuman beings as well in this story? There are romance, drama, revenge, supernatural, chaos, lust, betrayal, hate, friendship, mental health issues, Johnny Christopher Depp || fan and hater, selenophile, diversity of nations and their skins and of course, there are gays. There are also LGBTQ ++ in this pure chaos-filling story of 21st-century humans and the Novel Coronavirus 2019 Disease better known as Covid 19. Oh, I almost forgot, this tale is even more screw up than the famous love story of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.Complete
I WILL NEVER FALL FOR YOU
Everyone has a dark secret that they never want shared. but can these two fall in love without there life changing secrets being revealed to one another. Theodore Jones a london boy living in america. Is it by choice...well... He lived with his father in London until he was 14 and life changing events threatened his safety so he was sent to America to live with his mom. sad thing is, he was a result between to heart broken people who just wanted to have sex so when Theo's mom got pregnant with him whilst already having 4 small boys who's father just died, she thought it was better to send him to his father and never speak to him until he was 14. This resulted in Theo feeling alone unloved and unwanted living in a mansion full off people who was meant to call family. Now brooklyn live in new York before a tragic incident up rooted her whole life and moved it to california, night mares and fears consumes her everyday. What happens when to broken people meet. Will they lift eachother out of the darkness or will they suffer in silence
πππππ ππππππ πππππ | ππ+
β§ ππππππππ ππππππππ (πππππ) β§ When I was six I was kidnapped and taken away from my family for seven months. Thirteen years later and I have little to no memory of who had taken me. Ever since then my father has been severely overprotective and never lets me out of his sight. Now that I'm somewhat on my own everything starts to change. When I finish high school and start attending New York University my life takes a turn, for better and for worse. They're back. β πππππππππ π πππππππ β Years ago we found our little angel. She just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was the light in our lives, until one day we lost her again. Thirteen years later and we still mourn the loss of our sweetheart, but we found her once, we will do it again. I am the head of the Russian mafia, or a professor at NYU depending who you ask. One day I raise my head to look around at the sea of students and my eyes lock on a familiar pair of ocean blue irises. β ππππππ πππππππ β I'm a heartless killer and offer no apologies for it. As the head of the Russian mafia along with being the CEO to a multibillion dollar company, my life is nothing but darkness. During the day I'm an office man, at night my knife slashes through the necks of anyone I can get my hands on. Killing is my outlet, ever since I lost her. It helps me keep my anger in check. I've never stopped looking for her. We've come close multiple times, but each time came out unsuccessful. As I put a bullet in the head of my ex-guard, Alex comes rushing into the room, and the look on his face says it all. He found her. Start: July 4th End: ///
SMILE βοΈ
I would bet none of you have ever had that dream summer that all of us want.... that summer where you meet a boy on the beach and go surfing even though you don't know how to surf. That summer where you look him in the eyes while he runs his fingers through your hair. That summer where you skateboard along empty streets at sunset and accidentally steal candy from a grocery store. Well, I didn't get that, but I got pretty close to it. Because for the summer I went to an island in the middle of nowhere so my dad could start up a new one of his businesses in his chain of stores. I went to the beach. And I met Royce... Royce was two years older than me and had the prettiest purplish eyes and blonde hair. He was the most charismatic person I'd ever met. Then shortly after me and Royce's first appearance we met Jack and Koa. It was amazing and I loved every second of it, until I realized that I had fallen for Royce. And he seemed to fall for me too! Until another girl came into the mix π£ "Do you hate me or not Royce?" "I wish I never fucking spoke to you because god I hate you so fucking much for making me love you! It's your fucking fault! Fuck you!" "And do you love her?!" "Way more than I will ever love you." #5 in unrequited 12-3-2020 #2 in tearjerker 3-14-2021 #8 in unrequitedlove 5-15-2021Complete
I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy
CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014Complete
THAT FIRST BREAK (Broken Redemption Prequel 1)
Choosing her cost me everything I'd ever loved... including her. I had everything a guy could ask for, a loving family, the perfect small-town life, and a promising future I had worked hard for. It should have been enough. She was off-limits, my parent's best friend's daughter, practically my sister. I fought my feelings, pretending our soul-deep connection didn't exist. When she confessed she felt the same, I pushed her away, believing our friendship mattered more than temporary infatuation. That she agreed should have come as a relief, but it left me with this void I didn't know how to fill. It's what drove me to the bonfire that night. Right there, with our friends as witnesses, I claimed her. Told her I loved her and made her promises I shouldn't have made. Hours later, it all came crashing down in a whirlwind of fire and ashes. That one split-second choice to go after a girl that wasn't meant for me cost me everything I loved. I never should have crossed that line or given in. It's why she'll forever be my greatest love and deepest regret. This tragic story is the beginning of our end...
The Dark Poems In My Head
This is those little whispering poems that weasel their way into my wonderful brain. Don't know how this'll turn out, but, you know how it goes! Lets try something new! It is mature because some of this shit is bad! Extremely! Not sexual, but words and phrasing. (Completed. It has 100 parts, and even more poems. Please be careful if you read this. Some are bad, to be blatant. But still, trigger warning.)Complete
Older Brothers
Drama. Drama. Drama. That pretty much describes my life. I mean when your living with your 7 older brothers, 5 cousins, best friends, and a 3 month old baby, life can't get any better! And then there's school. Well school is school. Loaded with a the different 'groups' of kids. The geeks, popular, etc. And last but not least, my parents. We don't even know where they are most the time since they go on business trips after business trips. They come for for a week at the most and leave again. My family is not rich, but not poor. We have more than enough money to get the nice things we want, but we have to earn them. My life sounds pretty interesting huh?Complete
My brothers best friend
People say you don't really know what true love is at sixteen. Well I knew well before that, I knew from the age of eleven that Jackson carter was the one for me. Jackson was my older brothers best friend and also four years older then me. I First met him when I went to visit my mum and brother in America he was like a god he was so beautiful but as an eleven year old toothless girl I was invisible to him. Over the years and with many more visits we became close, well as close as you can to your brothers best friend, I would follow them around wherever they would go. My brother was so protected of me and all his friends became like brothers except Jackson my feelings for Jackson grew over the years. Now I'm sixteen I've grown I'm not the little toothless girl or the little girl who followed them around. My life has changed I have changed but one thing that hasn't is my love for Jackson. Unfortunately for me Jackson doesn't see me anything more then his best friends little sister. Now I've come to live with my mum who doesn't even give a shit about me after the death of my dad.My life is going downhill fast and I'm hoping Adam can pull me back up. Nothing is easy,life is hard and at sixteen I've seen enough hardship to last me a lifetime.I want to be happy, I want to live I don't want to drown anymore. Will my brother be able to save me? Will Jackson finally see me? Will my mum ever love me? And will I ever get over the death of the one person that ever really Truly loved me?Complete
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. β’β’β’β’β’β’β’β’β’β’β’ β Warnings β οΈ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionComplete
Well, this is a journal, so you found it. Can I say Happy reading into my life? The life of a kid who hates love. This is a love story, darling. Well, I don't know about you but I hate school, I have been told it is a place to mingle with good souls and create moments to cherish and to get yourself educated. It is a place for youth to strive and bloom into respected beings. It is a sanctuary of sanity. If you ask me, school is the definition of drama as it is the birthplace of drama. Youth is the ambassador of chaos, you can either make the chaos good or bad, worth the pleasure or the very cause of death. Life is too short to live with a sane mind, there is no harm in breaking rules to live life the way you want as long as it makes you good. As with any classical young adult romance, this book is filled with horny, hormone imbalance, chemical imbalances, not loved and very well-loved, mature(childish), caring(cruel ) teenagers. All of this drama only started because of one guy, Mark Austin Jawa, the golden boy of Winter Abyss High School. Maybe Mark had nothing to do at all.It was just about 4 kids learning to live Did I forget to say, there are inhuman beings as well in this story? There are romance, drama, revenge, supernatural, chaos, lust, betrayal, hate, friendship, mental health issues, Johnny Christopher Depp || fan and hater, selenophile, diversity of nations and their skins and of course, there are gays. There are also LGBTQ ++ in this pure chaos-filling story of 21st-century humans and the Novel Coronavirus 2019 Disease better known as Covid 19. Oh, I almost forgot, this tale is even more screw up than the famous love story of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.
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