EPv1
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Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Tue, Apr 7, 2020
this is nothing but a mirage of my thoughts not on a google doc tho. so here we are, I think about how my earrs won't be working or my eyes and will nearly go blind. I fear many things as i age and i am detrimentally afraid of many things. I will be adding to this as i write more songs and things of that nature. I find music to be therapuetic and very settling. I guess its an escape and i find that to be very cliche. but you know i dont usually put my thoughts in diaries or anything like this very often. I am more of a visual learner and hands on with things often. My therapist says i should be more articulate although i dont know wha that means. currently i am retouching on my piano and phtography as well as my art. I guess things are temporary if anyone know what that means. It's depressing to say the least but its the truth. so eyah .
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I'm just lying here in stillness and darkness wondering why. Why did this have to happen to my mom? We have nothing we can't even afford a house. Here I am a 14 year old boy that lives in a shelter home. Mom says one day we'll get out. But I've lost all hope. And I know my mom has no hope either. If she did I wouldn't have to hear her cry herself to sleep at night. I hate seeing her in so much pain. I wish, I could get a job. Maybe since I'm younger and a boy they'll hire me. Who am I kidding? My mom's in her 30's she's not old either. Sometimes the idiots that run this place kick my mom out for the night because she's making too much noise after hours. My mom was crying; is that too hard to understand? I hate this place. Well, tomorrow's our first day apart since summer started. They're forcing me to go to high school. I'm okay with school but I don't want to leave my mom alone in this world. Well, I guess there's a better chance of me getting a job if I'm in high school. You know there's one thing I remember my mom telling me when I was young. "Never frown; you never know who's falling in love with your smile." Words to live by. Let's hope they help me tomorrow.
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