my late night midnight thoughts

right now in this moment I can't help but feel alittle mad at myself, you see , I like one of my freinds and that's great and all but not when you can't figure anything out , like your feelings or his, and when you try asking the words just seem to get stuck in ur throat as if your about to crack , so you just don't say anything at all ans instead smile and go with the flow, and when I say go with the flow , I mean start making out with him , like come now we can't really be doing anything rational when we're around each other , sense the sarcasm?
so instead of hopelessly be controlled by my emotions about him I choose to get rid of him from my mind for the summer , think about him all I want and little by little get over him but of course my strategic plans of out of sight out of mind didn't quite hold up since summer is almost over and we basically made plans to go to college find a make out point of our own and just go at it . just the thought of this has made me face palm myself