Seen Known Loved

This title was one I added to my writing notes during the self isolating phase of COVID19. It kept popping its reminder up whilst I listened to the many podcasts, audible titles and Spotify playlists I keenly streamed from my phone. As the waves lap the ochre rocks beside me, my skin is warmed by Autumn sun rays and my peace is disturbed by a photographer and ensuing crowd descending the rock steps dampening my meditation and isolation. The time is now to write, whilst I'm on holidays but I have so many ideas in my head and half written stories, that all beg for editing, rationalising and a good knowledge of grammar. This one keeps begging to be written-so without a plan, here it is in full 'write as it comes' style. The only way to actually begin something is to do it. So, I will wear my words, write them and speak them for no other reason than my life story is about dealing with what some label- adverse life events or trauma. It's being abandoned, coping with abuse, dealing with intergenerational family trauma all whilst developing grit and growing in resilience but at a cost. This rambling draft, is about getting out of the shadows, declaring and owning my story and loving who I am. I have waded through my own grief and memory of childhood and am grateful for the experiences that I uniquely have lived. We are all defined by our choices, our families sometimes make it hard, but we can all find the colours to paint our story or light our own candle. Early on my choice was to be not just a survivor but a thriver. I love to tell stories through visuals and analogies- photos, music and food are part of my story. Walk or wade with me as I seek my truth and add colour to the shadows on my soul. As I scream my truth I see the unique beauty of my soul, my well of happiness and love.