"I write best when I'm falling in love, or falling apart." He muttered to himself, his gaze was on the guitar he had gently settled into his lap as he traced over the initials 'BJ' on it with his index finger. "Which one is it right now?" I asked nervously. He looked up at me with his green eyes only for a split second, soon looking back down. Like he feared I would see the pain painted behind his jade green orbs. But if he already knew I had already saw it. "Both." He said, finally looking up at me. That's when I noticed the pool of tears for everything that he had left unspoken, with one blink they would be running down his cheeks. And I hope he didn't let them, because I couldn't see him cry. "I love you, and it's killing me." I bit my lip painfully trying to stop myself from crying. He was the right one, my heart told me when my eyes first landed on him. But he wasn't mine, and that tore me up. Because I craved him to be. I sighed, "you're breaking my heart billie." I whispered, watching the tears roll down his dull face. "I love you. And loving you feels like some sort of self destruction when I'm not suppose to but my god armstrong I love you." I sobbed. It seems to be that love could be labelled poison and we would drink it anyways. I looked at him, the sadness in his eyes felt like it was tearing me up from the inside starting with the heart. But I felt guilty to look away. "But you know we shouldn't." I said Painfully, he nodded biting his lip. "We should only be friends." "But friends don't look at each other the way we do." And I needed him, he was my life line. And he told me he needed me, he said I was his sanity. But although it felt we lived worlds against each other, one thing we both knew was. 'I'm fine.' Sounds the same. Even when it's not true ----------------- She loved him more than he would ever know. And he loved her more than he would ever show. What a tragedy. (Little spoiler, but it does end happily I promise.)
35 parts